[Fwd: Bush's acceptance speech, as written by our own Rudy and Brett]

From: Jeff Bone (jbone@jump.net)
Date: Mon Jan 29 2001 - 12:45:07 PST

Not *actually* by Rudy and Brett...


attached mail follows:

My fellow Americans, it's about fucking time. All you liberals can just kiss my
big, white Texas ass if you think I'm gonna spew a boatload of bipartisan
bullshit. Let's set the record straight here. I won, dammit. Hell, I won FOUR OR
FIVE TIMES, you stupid bastards. We got the Presidency, we got Congress, and by
the end of four years we'll have even more of the Supreme Court. The Republicans
are here, and we're gonna show you how it's done.

Ya'll want me to reach across party lines now? How 'bout I reach across and
bitch-slap all your sorry-liberal-monkey-asses? How'dya like that? Don't get me
wrong, here.

The sense of satisfaction I'm feeling right now isn't that I've won it's that I
won't have to listen to Al Gore bitch and moan about "letting every vote count."
The only reason this went as far as it did is because you Democrats have a
playground crybaby as your poster-boy, and I for one am glad I won't have to see
him on TV anymore. This might sound snippy, Mr. Gore, but as we used to say in
the sandlot...LOSERS WALK!!!

As I said in my campaign, I promised to be a president who focuses on education.
My first task as President will be to start an educational program for all you
Florida-idiots who can't tell your elbow from your asshole or how to poke a
stylus through the right hole. I don't get you liberal Democrats: when we're
talking about Bill Clinton and some office whore, you say that lack of
penetration doesn't count; but when it comes to ballots, lack of penetration
DOES count.

You want a solution to this problem? Take some Viagra, you old farts, and finish
what you started next election. Until then, I want to ask you just one question:
"Who's yer daddy???"

And so I humbly accept the office of President of these United States.

Thank you

This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Fri Apr 27 2001 - 23:19:10 PDT