Re: Divorce: shared custody should be mandatory

From: Bill Stoddard (
Date: Thu Feb 22 2001 - 14:08:50 PST

You really are interested in starting a flame war here. This topic is more
divisive than abortion and gun control put together :-)

>From my personal experience (and observations of friends) divorce where
children are involved is -usually- (not always) a recipe for the man getting
shafted but good. Not just financially (in a state where 'maintenance of
lifestyle' is the norm) but emotionally as well. I personally like the idea
of shared custody (though not always ideal for the kids) and for both parents
being required to live in the same general vicinity except under hardship
cases (no moving away with the kids).

The state has no business dictating when you can and cannot get a divorce,


> In Colorado here they invited Dr. (of physiology...) Laura Schlesinger
> to speak to the state legislature about a proposed law that would
> require a year of counseling before being allowed to get divorced. Dr.
> Laura apparently endorses this no matter how unhappy the parents.
> I think a much better solution that is far more workable and desirable
> is to require divorced parents to participate in shared custody. The
> benefits to this should be obvious, especially to non-custodial parents
> (i.e. fathers) and children. Only deviated from for abuse or neglect.
> The current situation encourages fathers to give up when their estranged
> has all the power, control, and few checks on emotional topics like
> spending support.
> Divorced parents who hate each other are the ones who need counseling.
> Making a couple stay together when they would rather not is the wrong
> solution. Unhappy environments are unhealthy for everyone and could
> lead to more drastic problems. On the other hand, maybe it would
> legitimize mistress/masters(?) relationships in our puritanical land
> which seems to work to some extent in some countries.
> What do you think?
> sdw
> --
> Stephen D. Williams Insta, Inc./Jabber.Com, Inc./CCI
> 43392 Wayside Cir,Ashburn,VA 20147-4622 703-724-0118W 703-995-0407Fax
> Dec2000

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