Re: Divorce: shared custody should be mandatory

From: Stephen D. Williams (
Date: Thu Feb 22 2001 - 19:50:56 PST wrote:
> In a message dated 2/23/01 12:10:34 AM Eastern Standard Time,
> writes:
> << On Thu, 22 Feb 2001 wrote:
> --]no, i'm saying that step parenting is fraught with problems. lots of
> science
> --]on this one. sexual/physical abuse is the worst case scenario, but there
> are
> --]lots of degrees of unhealthy.
> Hi, IM the step dad of a 6 year old girl. What you want to know? >>
> i'm sure you're a wonderful step dad. 8-)

I was the stepdad of the 20 yo since he was 5 and the 16 yo since he was
18 months old. I adopted them at least 10 years ago. There was never a
problem with them or their fathers and me, at least until the older one
was 18 or 19 and I wouldn't do something he demanded I help him with and
he told me I wasn't his father, etc. etc. That passed and I studiously
ignored it.

My girlfriend's son is almost 16 and we've been together for 4+ years.
He was too old to treat me as a father until a lot of time had passed
(just recently). His only problem was going from an only child to a
full house part of the year which was a big shock.

It's not a big deal to me. I'm willing to help other people's children
along with mine. Now they're almost on their own and hopefully better
off. I don't see step parenting as that much different from parenting.
I have seen parents (including mothers) who don't really care for their
children. In some cases there were fathers who were more interested
than the mother but couldn't do anything about it.

You seem to be indicating that being a stepdad to children that are in
joint custody would be much worse than the current sole/visitation
standard. I don't see it.


Stephen D. Williams         Insta, Inc./Jabber.Com, Inc./CCI
43392 Wayside Cir,Ashburn,VA 20147-4622 703-724-0118W 703-995-0407Fax 

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