Re: Divorce: shared custody should be mandatory

Date: Sun Feb 25 2001 - 12:56:59 PST

Well, the parenting class isn't about particular child-raising views; it's
about effective communication. It has helped me with all relationships,
not just with children. They talk about saying what you mean, in a
non-blaming fashion, and about how to get out of argumentative situations
and head toward solution-oriented conversation. I went to two very
different places for the two classes that I took (one at the mental
health clinic, and one on Keesler AF base), and the objective was the
same, no fads, no schools, just effective communication tactics.

I dunno about you, but I don't think I'll ever reach a point where I feel I
have suddenly become wise, or a good parent. It's all trial and error.
I know that I've said a million times that I learned from my parents'
mistakes, but I've made my own very unique ones. I think we're lucky if
we get through it sane, with happy kids.

On Sun, 25 Feb 2001, Stephen D. Williams wrote:

> While it's obligatory to point out that there are cultural and more importantly
> fad-experiment phases that society goes through wrg to accepted child rearing practices, I
> agree this would be a great idea. You need a license to drive a car but not to have a
> child. (How many times have you thought that when noticing an inept or uncaring parent?)
> BTW, this should be taught Only by experienced and relatively successful parents, not a 22
> YO with a sociology degree and only the hottest theories (in need of experimentation) of
> the day. Paired, might be ok. Isn't odd that in parenting, just as you become wise,
> understanding, and very good at parenting you are done? (Except for grandparenting of
> course.) Lends some credibility to boarding schools, although that's a poor solution in
> many other ways it seems to me.
> sdw
> wrote:
> > A parenting class wouldn't hurt either. Most valuable class I ever took,
> > so I took it twice. THAT should be mandatory, if anything is.
> > Counselling only helps someone if they think they need the help. A
> > parenting class gives valuable information, even if someone already thinks
> > s/he knows it all.
> > C
> >
> > On Sat, 24 Feb 2001 wrote:
> >
> > > let me say this and be done with it:
> > >
> > > any of you folks gone thru a divorce out there? it can take years. so,
> > > while dr. laura might be suggesting a couple can't even file for divorce
> > > until they've gone thru MARRIAGE counseling, i'm suggesting that, once
> > > they've filed, a couple WITH CHILDREN should HAVE to go thru FAMILY
> > > COUNSELING while separated and awaiting the final divorce decree. when i
> > > went thru my simple divorce (no kids involved) we had case maintenance
> > > hearings every couple of months. that would be the perfect time for a FAMILY
> > > COUNSELOR to report to the judge what is going on. if parents feel there is
> > > a real consequence (besides screwing up their kids) maybe they'd put some
> > > effort into learning healthy parenting behaviors.
> > >
> > > (you know, in some ways divorce is like the gun control issue. some people
> > > don't want even a three-day waiting period to get their "freedom" in their
> > > hands.)
> > >
> > > over and out,
> > > gg
> > >
> >
> > --
> > "Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases, think for yourself." --Doris Lessing,
> > British writer
> --
> OptimaLogic - Finding Optimal Solutions Web/Crypto/OO/Unix/Comm/Video/DBMS
> Stephen D. Williams Senior Consultant/Architect
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"Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases, think for yourself." --Doris Lessing,
British writer

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