Not to Mention His Hair

Date: Sat May 05 2001 - 06:19:54 PDT

Too good not to share. (I'm putting streaks in my hair as i sit accessing my
saturday morning newz - i feel so wacky.)


from 5/4/01 slate papers:
Personal Hero: The Post fronts the federal indictment of Ohio
Congressman, James Traficant, on charges of racketeering and
bribery. Traficant, a Democrat whose support for Speaker
Hastert cost him his committee assignments this year is
currently in his ninth term and is "known for his polyester
suits, plaid pants and denim blazers." If convicted, he
could face up to 40 years in prison and forfeit $100,000 in
personal assets. But this is not the first time Traficant
has faced difficult odds. In 1983, he convinced a jury that
the $163,000 he took in mob money was really just a part of a
one-man sting operation designed to flush out mobsters. Then
he won his Congressional seat.

In a second article, this one
] in the style section, the Post gets to the good stuff and
provides a "greatest hits sampling of the wit and wisdom of
Jim Traficant." For those of us that have misplaced our

"From the womb to the tomb, Madam Speaker, the Internal Rectal
Service is one big enema. Think about it: They tax our
income, they tax our savings, they tax our sex, they tax our
property-sales profits, they even tax our income when we die.
Is it any wonder America is taxed off? We happen to be
suffering from a disease called Taxes Mortis Americanus. Beam
me up!"

(hmmm, straight from the jbone primer . . .)

"Mr. Speaker, gasoline is $2.20 a gallon. That's right, $2.20.
Now, if that is not enough to bust your bunions, Congress
gives billions of dollars to OPEC countries, and they rip us
off. To boot, the domestic oil companies are gouging us so
bad, we are all passing gas. Beam me up!"

"If the White House succeeds in getting China admitted to the
World Trade Organization, I say the White House needs a
lobotomy performed by a proctologist."

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