6th: Abbott and Costello Meet Windows 95

Dr. Ernest N. Prabhakar (ernest@drernie.scruz.net)
Tue, 14 Apr 98 08:33:32 -0700

Yeah, old humour bits, but interesting on several counts.

One, it is quite creative, not another recycled IBM joke, but something
truly Windows-specific. This is interesting given my earlier hypothesis
that Bill's recent troubles are attracting a lower class of humour.

On the other hand, since its a Win95 joke, it is more likely that it was
written back in the early days - when mocking Windows really *meant*
something - and just got resuscitated due to the current spate of

Another noteworthy bit is that this joke list now has sponsorhip
information embedded in the format. This may be old news, but its the
first time I've seen it. Jokes (cf. rec.humour.funny) are one of the
oldest commercial ventures on the net (the second oldest profession?),
but this is the first time I've seen them using push advertising.

It does raise the questions whether Bill-bashing humour is truly up, or
whether there's more effective distribution mechanisms nowadays, and
anti-MS humour is still at the same fraction.

Ernie "Serious analysis of silly subjects" Prabhakar

Originally from: "Sheldon Koehler" <sheldon@tenforward.com>
Originally dated: 14 Apr 1998 0:00:00

"6th-Sense" - "The Sense of Humor" Clean humor worth sharing!

Today's Sponsor: G-Force Multihulls, LLC
Manufacturer of G-Cat and G-Force Catamarans
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Abbott and Costello Meet Windows 95

Costello: Hey, Abbott!
Abbot: Yes, Lou?

Costello: I just got my first computer.
Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get?

Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM,
a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbot: That's terrific, Lou.

Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!!
Abbot: You will in time.

Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbot: Oh?

Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbot: Well, I don't know-

Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're
going to train me.
Abbot: Really?

Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbot: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?

Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I
heard that you should be very careful how you
turn it off.
Abbot: That's true.

Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I
want to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then-

Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbot: I know, you press the Start button-

Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off.
I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbot: I did.

Costello: When?
Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button.

Costello: Why should I press the Start button?
Abbot: To shut off the computer.

Costello: I press Start to stop.
Abbot: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.

Costello: I knew it! So what do I press?
Abbot: Start.

Costello: Start what?
Abbot: Start button.

Costello: Start button to do what?
Abbot: Shut down.

Costello: You don't have to get rude!
Abbot: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.

Costello: Then say what you mean.
Abbot: To shut down the computer, press-

Costello: Don't say, "Start!"
Abbot: Then what do you want me to say?

Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer,
I am willing to press the Stop button, the
End button and Cease and Desist button, but
no one in their right mind presses the Start
to Stop.
Abbot: But that's what you do.

Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop
at green lights.
Abbot: Don't be ridiculous.

Costello: I'M being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we
started this conversation.
Abbot: What are you talking about?

Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.