FW: borrowed books

Todd Kaloudis (todd@teledesic.com)
Fri, 17 Apr 1998 11:38:11 -0700

Dan, FoRK you.

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dan Kohn
> Sent: Friday, April 17, 1998 5:12 AM
> To: Todd Kaloudis
> Subject: RE: borrowed books
> You should FoRK this.
> - dan
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: Todd Kaloudis
> >Sent: Wednesday, April 08, 1998 10:27 PM
> >To: Teledesic Team
> >Subject: FW: borrowed books
> >
> >Earlier this week I broadcasted a message about my missing
> >books... The evil culprit has identified himself.
> >
> >His message was so intriguing that I thought it warranted
> >forwarding to the Team. I hope you enjoy his confession as
> >much as I did, and I apologize for abusing this distribution list.
> >
> >-----Original Message-----
> >From: XXXXXXX
> >Sent: Monday, April 06, 1998 4:22 PM
> >To: Todd Kaloudis
> >Subject: RE: borrowed books
> >
> >I confess! I have long coveted your Huitema collection! At
> >first it was a casual, sort of incidental little affair. I
> >would find some reason to stroll by your desk and quietly slip
> >a demure glance in the direction of your cubicle. Oh, how
> >they radiated from your bookshelf! I was so innocent then,
> >and soon I thought what would a casual stroke hurt, each
> >volume so lovingly...bound? But it was not enough. Once,
> >working quite late, I could almost hear their siren call. I
> >found myself at your cube. I had to hold one! Even if only
> >for a short while. A stolen moment perhaps, but to hold that
> >first volume in my arms! To caress its innermost pages! I
> >fled. Terrified at the intensity of my passion, I could not
> >sleep. I felt dirty and ashamed at my wanton behavior, but I
> >didn't care. I needed it and I sensed that Huitema needed me
> >as well.
> >
> >I resolved to make the relationship work. I began to arrive
> >very early to spend time with your collection. I would utter
> >a quick excuse to my wife and dash out the door, so that I
> >could breakfast in your cubicle. I dared not go out in
> >public, but an illicit little meal together was all I needed.
> >Or so I thought. I cleaned up meticulously to avoid
> >suspicion. I would take down a different volume each day to
> >get to know each one personally, and eventually I was
> >conversant in a range of adventurous networking topics. I
> >came to learn exactly what fine point of IP buffer management
> >would set a particular volume on edge. How Huitema can write!
> >
> >I don't remember, exactly, when I first actually borrowed a
> >volume. It surprises me in retrospect, but I was so seduced
> >by the whole series that it just seemed so natural! I
> >couldn't tell you, of course. This betrayal was most
> >difficult, you must know, and I won't ask for your forgiveness
> >but only your understanding. For after I borrowed one, on a
> >night [WIFE'S NAME] was out of town, I knew that the others
> >would get insanely jealous and call off the affair. How could
> >I choose just one? Like a common tart, I went from volume to
> >volume! TCP/IP, network addressing, routing theory, I didn't
> >care. I did it all. I rented a room at a sleazy motel in
> >Bellevue, and told [WIFE'S NAME] I was on business trips to
> >evade suspicion. Could I sink any lower?
> >
> >Eventually, I kept my favorite volume, IPv6, and then several
> >others. I had no choice, really. When I was on real business
> >trips, I would find myself distracted when I was away from
> >Huitema's loving gaze. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, and
> >my work was suffering. I knew you would be hurt, but they
> >were with me now, so I began to travel with them. I showed
> >them the world. The gondolier in Venice was a little puzzled
> >when I trundled on-board with my pet volumes, talking to them
> >in the quiet, silly tones of intimate lovers. He didn't
> >understand, no one did. Hadn't anyone experienced a love as
> >deep as ours?
> >
> >Finally, I began to notice small peculiarities of each book.
> >Small little habits, but they began to grate on me. We began
> >to quarrel. It was difficult at times, but we still enjoyed
> >each other's company. I looked the other way when the
> >Understanding Frame Relay book began a small dalliance on the
> >side. I didn't want to see that the passion was waning.
> >Finally, the move to Lake Washington Park broke it. What I
> >couldn't see before me, the new distance from their friends on
> >your bookshelf brought the underlying tension in our
> >relationship to the forefront. We had a terrible fight this
> >past weekend. It's over now. I feel so very alone.
> >
> >They want to go back to you, if you'll take them. For me, I'm
> >finished. [WIFE'S NAME] has discovered all, thanks to the
> >spiteful wretches telling her. My marriage is over and Lisa
> >Lee is auditing my expenses from my romantic interludes in the
> >Italian countryside. No doubt, my dismissal and the
> >reimbursement to Teledesic will bankrupt me as well. The
> >worst, of course, is my confession to you. Forgive me for not
> >telling you all of this in person, but the pain is too great.
> >I am loathsome.
> >
> >Despairingly,
> >
> >----------
> >From: Todd Kaloudis
> >Sent: Monday, April 06, 1998 11:15 AM
> >To: All Teams
> >Subject: borrowed books
> >
> >In recent months, people have borrowed a number of
> networking
> >books from me- sometimes with permission, and sometimes
> >without. I don't mind, as long as my stuff finds its
> way
> >back to my desk eventually. :-)
> >
> >Now that many people are moving, I would appreciate if
> you
> >could take a second and see if any of the books in your
> boxes
> >belong to me (or someone else- I'm sure that others are
> >missing books as well).
> >
> >Thanks.
> >
> >(I am especially interested in re-acquiring "IPv6" by
> >Christian Huitema, and the rest of my Huitema
> collection)