RE: Why you want to work for Microsoft (research)

Robert S. Thau (
Wed, 22 Apr 1998 09:09:56 -0400 (EDT)

Thomas Reardon writes:
> wondering if the Microsoft policy is simply to hire every functional
> mind on the planet to create a monopoly of thought.
> TR> no, we already have that. Now we are merely backfilling to create the
> *appearance* of a monopoly of thought. All candidates are chosen primarily
> for the grapevine value that attends their transition into the Borg.

I am eagerly awaiting the results of your assimilation of Richard
M. Stallman...


What is the status of the new weapon?


At 42% of expected power. We are now capable of
broadcasting shotgun bullets or just about anything
from a pistol straight onto the backbone, but those
are all single-shot. We're having more trouble
than I expected interfacing the M-16s directly to
fiber, so we can only download ammo from those at
T-1 data rates. I'm working on...



There may be no time. The Borg are hailing us.

STALLMAN appears on the viewscreen, transformed. One hand has been
replaced with a direct data link, and there is a fiber-optic cable
going into a former eye socket. His body is encrusted with
mecahnical paraphenalia elsewhere; however, a ripped LPF t-shirt is
still visible underneath.


I am Locutus of Windows NT 5.0, and I'd like
to sing you a little song.


[STALLMAN sings, off-key. From within
the machinery on his person comes the
sound of a tinny, synthsized pan-flute]

Join Bill now and write for Windows
You'll have fun hackers, you'll have fun...


[As STALLMAN, now Locutus, continues
to sing, and the bridge crew reacts
in horror]

Mr. Raymond,