I heart, You heart, We all heart

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From: Tom Sweetnam (savamutt@trailnet.com)
Date: Mon May 08 2000 - 10:12:53 PDT

One little tidbit of our popular culture that has baffled me almost as much as the Elvis resurrection movement, are those inane bumper stickers that broadcast one's supreme affection for anything from pit bulls to licorice ice cream. You know the ones I'm talking about, the "I heart this" and the "I heart that" pronouncements, which in their cutesy folkishness (using a valentine heart instead of the word "love" as they do), are sufficiently watered down in gushing predilection that even Vassar soccer moms from Palo Alto to Irvine feel no reserve in slapping half a dozen across the butt end of their minivans.

So I'm just wondering today, in the wake of this latest virus massacre, why I didn't think about applying for a copyright on the phrase "I heart you" a long time ago. I mean, with anti-virus machine-gun nests and firewall ack-ack batteries the world over set to stitch a burst at anything vaguely resembling "I l**e you", or even the word "love" for that matter, how are digitheads henceforth ever to convey their warmest and fuzziest detachments from reason, logic, and common sense? "I heart you" works just fine for me, thank-you very much. Now why in hell I didn't have a copyright attorney letting it work for him about six months ago is yet one more example of a golden opportunity that's slipped right on through these Teflon-coated fingers.

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