From: Tom Sweetnam (email@example.com)
Date: Sat Sep 02 2000 - 12:34:22 PDT
I'm a hopeless consumer with $477 million a year in disposable income, and like all those brainless women who spend their entire waking lives glued to the Shopping Channel, I buy absolutely everything that's hyped in my direction, no matter how inane and useless. As a matter of fact, I buy 8...or sometimes even 12 or more of anything that's hyped in my direction, no matter how inane and useless. So what if I'm a guy who wears size 11 1/2 hiking boots? I still bought 166 pairs of size 5,6,&7 women's house slippers last year, and I'm not even a pervert or anything like that. It's just that somebody who had 'em for sale sent me an e-mail, so what the hell, I bought 'em all.
If I'm currently on your company's spam list, then you're already aware that I'm the singular reason your dot com dinghy is still afloat in these volatile Wall Street waters, but if I'm not already on your company's spam list, welllll....it's your loss bub. So if any representatives from Amazon's marketing dept. are reading ForK these days, or if any other intrusive marketing hype types are lurking in the wings, I'd like to announce here and now that Fork is sponsoring its very first Internet auction ever. That's right folks, I'm for sale. All 378 of my e-mail addressees are up for grabs. And forget about target marketing. If your product falls within the alphabetical parameters of Aa-Zz, I'll buy it. Now lets start the bidding.
This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Sat Sep 02 2000 - 14:43:37 PDT