The Top 15 Signs That Microsoft Owns Part of Apple
15> Apple's stock fell only 25% last week.
14> Bill Gates's birthday now a paid holiday for Apple employees.
13> Default Mac startup sound changed to "Taps."
12> Wall Street brokers have stopped using Apple stock certificates
as toilet paper.
11> Apple's new slogan: "Almost as good as Windows!"
10> Apple has been bent over with its pants dropped for so long
now, even a geek like Bill Gates was bound to get lucky.
9> Cute rainbow-colored apple now inhabited by cute
rainbow-colored worm.
8> Microsoft comes out with an operating system incorporating Mac
technology... uh, wait a minute...
7> Phone and utilities mysteriously start working again at Apple's
corporate HQ.
6> Steve Jobs seen tending bar at the Gates' private lawn party.
5> Diners in Microsoft's staff cafeteria can now enjoy their apple
pie purely for its wholesome goodness and no longer as a
symbolic act of global domination.
4> Unsold Newtons used as cobblestones in Gates's driveway.
3> Apple Employee of the Month gets to hunt loose change at
Bill's house.
2> New Apple employee dress code includes large "Property of
B. Gates" tattoo on ass.
and the Number 1 Sign That Microsoft Owns Part of Apple...
1> Bill Gates still burned in effigy, but upper management no
longer attends.
[ This list copyright 1997 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
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