Re: Uh, have the woman I want???

I Find Karma (
Wed, 13 Aug 1997 12:07:58 -0700 (PDT) writes:
> Ok, I'll play.

*cracks knuckles*

*cracks neck*


Let's play.

> > 1. Every new person you meet/date/sleep with you have to run your
> > rap on afresh, and then spend mucho time either maintaining or trying
> > to get rid of it, which let's face it, wastes a great amount of time
> > from your already-finite life span.
> depends how well your "rap" is down.

Unless your rap is snapping your fingers, there's time being wasted.
Time you spend with someone else is time taken away from THE ONE.

> > 2. Every new person you meet/date/sleep with is one more person who
> > you have the chance of accidentally pissing off.
> this is true of all aspects of life. unless being a hermit is acceptable,
> then this not an option.

But dating/romantic/sexual relationships carry excess emotional baggage
that friendship relationships, familial relationships, and working
relationships do not have.

The stakes are therefore higher, and so you reap the whirlwind. Come on,
Tim, you know how difficult it is to avoid irritating someone. Add to
that the connotations of dating/romance/sex, and it's rotisserie emotions.

> > 3. Every new person you meet/date/sleep with is one more piece of
> > emotional baggage you'll have to carry around for the rest of your life.
> possibly, however they can also enrich your life with new adventures.

You can have new adventures with THE ONE, too. But with THE ONE, there's
only one person to worry about. Whereas with multiple relationships,
there's extra envy, jealousy, frustration, sleeplessness... you name it.
Multiple relationships MULTIPLY the emotional baggage, period.

It's like why monotheism makes sense to me. One God seems tractable to
me; with multiple gods, I would always worry about vexing one because of
allegiance to another, either now or previously in life.

> > 4. The more people there are, the more difficult it gets to remember
> > what you said to whom and when. Hence, writing your own ticket to
> > loneliness and despair.
> huh? unless your a pathological liar I don't see how this is a problem.

Lying has nothing to do with it.

Relationship levels have everything to do with it.

What you reveal to which people and when. Because the more information
you let someone know about yourself, the more vulnerable to that person
you become.

How many people do you want to give the power to hurt you?

It would seem to me, that the less, the better.

> > 1. All time spent is time invested in a single person, who can then
> > take all that stuff -- call it love -- and send it back to you.
> so can others. in varying degrees and with different intensities.

So what you're saying is, you'd rather collect lots of little pebbles
and shells, instead of collecting just a single Mother of All Stones.

> > 2. There's only a single person on this planet you have to keep happy.
> which in many cases requires more work, since as the time committed builds,
> the single person expects you to provide x amount of happiness per hour spent.

It shouldn't require more work. If it requires more work, you're doing
it wrong. It will require some work, sure, but if you're doing it
right, it doesn't feel like work. Familiarity breeds, my friend.

> > 3. Carrying a single duffle bag is FAR easier than several, a dozen,
> > scores, or hundreds....
> nah, cuts down on gym time.


> > 4. You know EXACTLY what you said, to that one person, because everything
> > you said was to that one person.
> again see pathalogical lair answer above.

And you told me that everyone lies. So in a sense, we are all pathological
liars. Some of us lie only to ourselves. Some lie to others not to hurt them.
Some lie without knowing it. Some lie on purpose, sure.

But what is the truth? The truth is the information that I let out
about myself. And yes, the truth does differ from person to person.
Rohit's truth about me is different from your truth about me, because he
knows more about me. It's not because I've lied to you. It's because
I've given Rohit more information.

> > In short, the rules should be:
> > 1. Never, ever sleep with anyone unless that person is THE ONE.
> > Heck, don't even kiss a person until you know that person is THE ONE.
> > Why risk getting yourself more baggage?
> and how is that determined? IRC? letters? maybe they have a great
> personality and bore you physically.

If s/he has a great personality and bores you physically, then s/he is not

Usually we can tell pretty quickly if the other person is inappropriate.
Until you know that, fine, stick with the program.

But as soon as you know the other person is not THE ONE, you should pack
your bags and move on. And this should happen preferably before the tides
of dating/romance/sex are allowed to flow.

> > 2. Don't even waste time with someone once they've revealed themselves
> > not to be THE ONE.
> and cut yourself off from a world of different experiences and adventures.

I contend that not to do so, is to be dishonest with oneself.

> > 3. Once you find THE ONE, put your heart and your mind and your soul
> > into THE ONE. Because love is not a constant; it must be continually
> > augmented or it will fade away...
> I agree.

Wait, I came in here for an argument...

> > That's a game this homey CAN play. The only one, in fact. The key, of
> > course, is to know what you're looking for. Most people don't even give
> > the matter thought. Which means though they may win in their game, they
> > lose in my game.
> Well what your looking for can change over time. So what is perfect when
> your 15 isn't so great at 21, which isn't that tremendous at 25, which
> isn't so worthwhile at 30, which is old and tiresome at 40, which is a
> murder rap by 50.

:) Touche. Of the fickleness of man, I cannot argue. So on that point,
you win.

But I think most fickleness stems out of personal insecurity in actually
looking down into the abyss of one's soul, and asking oneself honestly
what it is that one actually wants.


It got quiet. Any of you out there who have met me should realize the
staggering import of that statement.
-- Rohit Khare