FHA Loan

Dan Kohn (dan@teledesic.com)
Sat, 23 Aug 1997 19:36:34 -0700

[* Hard to believe this is true, but pretty clever. - dan *]

> For all those who have had fun in the home loan market.
> A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal Housing Administration)
> loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he
> could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered
> as collateral.
> The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer
> three months to track down.
> After sending the information to FHA, he received the following reply:
> "Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application,
> we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While
> we compliment the able manner in which you prepared and presented the
> application, we must point out that you have only cleared the Title to
> the proposed collateral property back to the year 1803. Before final
> approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back
> to its origin."
> Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows: "Your letter regarding
> Titles in Case No. 189156 has
> been received. I note that you wish to have Titles extended further
> than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware
> that any educated person in this country, particularly those working
> in the property arena, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by
> the U.S. from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our
> application.
> For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the
> land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had
> acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into
> possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a
> sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the
> privilege of seeking a new route to India by the then reigning
> monarch, Isabella. The good queen, being a pious woman and careful
> about titles, almost as much as the FHA, took the precaution of
> securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to fund
> Columbus' expedition.
> Now the Pope, as I'm sure you know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ,
> the Son of God. And God, it is commonly accepted, created this world.
> Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that He also made that part
> of the world called Louisiana. I hope you are satisfied.
> Now, may we have our loan?