Red Herring's Winter Tale

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From: Sally Khudairi (
Date: Fri Dec 22 2000 - 04:23:37 PST

good one: "We're not B2B, nor peer-to-damn-peer."

Jingle bells,


Winter's tale

The Nasdaq was down, the Dow was all tattered,
The market had said it was profits that mattered;
Yet day after day, with hope beyond telling,
New startups were starting; but would they be selling?

So a fine winter's eve, at,
I met one more exec whose biz was the bomb.
Well, that's what he said, while I lent tired ear:
"We're not B2B, nor peer-to-damn-peer."

"Let me show you my B-plan, you'll be so impressed!"
"It's the day before Christmas," I said, quite depressed.
"Run by me your numbers, convince me you're winners,
And then let's go home and sit down to our dinners."

Then his Powerpoint crashed, his computer, it froze;
A small bead of sweat popped out on his nose.
I waited and waited, took pen off my pad,
Said, "Just keep on talking, it can't be that bad."

But his small squinty eyes were fixed like one hunted,
He yelped, "I am done for! I'll never get funded!"
And then we were stunned by a bang and a flash,
As a fellow appeared with a sack full of cash.

The jolly round man stood before us and roared,
"Here is a seed round; you tell your dumb board,
I'm tired of funders treating founders like peasants,
Now take this here moolah and buy your staff presents."

To me he said gently, "Your work here is over,
You've written enough of this Net rollercoaster.
Now repair to your home and let's make this quite clear:
Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year!"


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