From: Adam Rifkin (adam@KnowNow.com)
Date: Sat Jan 13 2001 - 02:43:41 PST
Hi Rob, welcome to FoRK.
Line for abuse, insult, and ridicule forms to the left... and to the right...
> From firstname.lastname@example.org Fri Jan 12 09:39:38 2001
> From: "Rob Drimmie" <email@example.com>
> To: <firstname.lastname@example.org>
> Subject: It's hard to talk with my tongue in my cheek.
> Um, okay. I just waded my way through the FAQ, and as tears of joy stream
> down my face in response to the fact that there is indeed a place out there
> where I just may be able to be abused, insulted, ridiculed and otherwise
> loved by people that are not only as smart as I pretend I am, but also just
> as good at pretending.
Bill Gross Punching Doll Expected to Generate Millions
PASADENA, CA -- January 11, 2001 -- Idealab! today announced a groundbreaking new product that is expected to save the company's ass by capitalizing on the negative sentiments toward the New Economy.
The "Billy Boy" punching doll will feature the likeness of Idealab! Founder Bill Gross sporting his signature shit-eating grin. Billy Boy will allow people everywhere to beat the hell out of the promoter of eToys and countless other failed enterprises. The bottom of the tubular shaped punching bag will be weighted down with a special mixture of bull crap and shredded stock certificates from worthless Idealab! investments.
"The great thing is you can hit it and it comes right back up so you can smack the living shit out of it some more -- just like I've wanted to do at many, many board meetings," said Bill Elkus Managing Director of venture fund Idealab Capital Partners. Elkus added, "I have calluses and bloody knuckles from beating the damn thing -- but I've never been happier."
"This will give entrepreneurs and investors worldwide an outlet for their understandable frustrations -- these poor people have paid good money to endure my arrogance and my simple-minded views on the Internet," said Bill Gross. "Many have lost their jobs, their entire life savings and their reputation because of my happy horseshit."
Gross added with a grin, "But boy howdy -- I sure was convincing, wasn't I?"
Marketing of the doll will be done through the web sites of Etoys, F---edCompany, Goldman Sachs, Morgan Stanley and the State unemployment offices in California.
idealab! (www.idealab.com) creates, builds and operates Internet businesses that satisfy unmet market needs. Founded in March 1996 by Bill Gross, idealab! currently has more than 35 businesses in various stages of development. idealab! generates ideas for new Internet businesses and creates, capitalizes and operates a separate company to conduct each new business. idealab! is headquartered in Pasadena, California and has offices in Silicon Valley, New York, Boston and London.
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