Date: Fri Feb 09 2001 - 23:48:43 PST
Oh god, Jeff. Why ya gonna take this so damned seriously? I thought it
was funny as hell. What happened to the funny part of your bone?
On Sat, 10 Feb 2001, Jeff Bone wrote:
> > waitaminute - FED? i knew it - it's all part of a master fed plot to put
> > hillbillies in office.
> Okay, now you guys are REALLY smoking crack. Have any of you Texas
> stereotype-infected folks ever actually BEEN to Texas? The Ozarks don't extend
> into Texas. Neither the Appalachians. Closest we've got to "hillbillies" is
> the trailerpark Texas Cajuns, and they're the "urbanized" cousins of them good
> ole Louisiana Swamp Rats. :-) Most of the state is flat as a pancake. In
> fact, West Texas (where I grew up) is the *flattest place on the surface of the
> planet.* Austin is in the "Hill Country," but hardly hillbillies here --- it's
> the Berkeley of Texas, more Birkenstock-wearing Green Party-voting macrobiotic
> treefuckers here than any place I've ever lived, CaSouBay included. (Never
> lived in Berkeley, can't speak to that.)
> George may be a hick, and is certainly a good ole boy, but he ain't no
> Getcher terminology straight, Geege. All of the following denote *very
> different things.*
> * Rednecks
> * Hicks
> * Cowboys
> * Hillbillies
> * Swamp Rats
> * Good Ole Boys
> * Mullets
> * Trailer Trash
> * Slicks
> * Roughnecks
> Oh, but wait, Jeb's in Florida. Still, a pretty flat place overall. Lots of
> swamp rats and mullets, prolly no hillbillies there, either.
> > coincidence?
> > the clampets discovered crude, the bushes exemplify it.
> > the bushes are into into black gold (texas tea), big time.
> > the matriarchs, granny and barbara, though morphically dissimilar are both
> > caloric of temperment.
> > jethro was one lucky bastard, w is olb. both have megarich father figures
> > who greased their careers.
> > jethro had wild career swings; w went from managing a baseball team to
> > governor.
> > texas borders oklahoma.
> > i just know w secretly refers to his swimming pool as the cement pond.
> > the clampets drove a jalopy; the bushes drive a chevy suburban. both are
> > suck vehicles.
> > jethro had fantasies of being a secret agent. w has secret service agents.
> > jethro had an honorary degree; w "gradiated" from yale.
> > geege
-- "Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases, think for yourself." --Doris Lessing, British writer
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