The Top 16 Excuses Used For Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket

I Find Karma (
Thu, 29 Aug 96 10:07:09 PDT

After surviving the deluge of Open submissions, the
Top Five List is taking the day off today and tomorrow.
This list is from July 11, 1994, and can be found on the
TopFive.Com ( website, in the Archive
section, as can almost every Top Five List every published.

The Top 16 Excuses Used For Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket

16> In pain from multiple paper cuts to the wrist and throat.

15> "Aye, Captain, I have to get the Enterprise washed, gassed
up, and back to Starfleet Command before they miss 'er!"

14> "We're trying to get the President to Miss Jones' apartment
for his next, um -- <ahem> -- cabinet meeting."

13> Key evidence obtained from illegal search of your mansion.

12> "According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, I COULDN'T
go that fast!"

11> "Tons of drugs are headed for Woodstock, and I wanted to
be first in line to make a citizen's arrest."

10> "We don't have speed limits on *my* planet."

9> Frozen accelerator pedal was magically unfrozen by
police radar.

8> "The Cameroon-Romania game is on in five minutes!"

7> "Excuse me officer, are those Bugle Boy Jeans you're wearing?"

6> "I gotta get to the bakery -- it's time to make the

5> "Eight minutes to Wapner. Eight minutes to Wapner."

4> "Oops! It seems I've dropped my driver's license on
my crotch..."

3> "Bob Barker pulled up beside us, leered at my wife,
and kept saying 'Come on down!'"

2> "Gimme a break, willya? The Gotti Family picnic is
starting in ten minutes."

and the #1 Excuse Used For Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket...

1> "All those vodka tonics make it *mighty* damn difficult
to focus on the speedometer."

[ This list copyright 1994 by Chris White ]
[ *To forward or repost, you must include this section.* ]
[ The Top Five List ]

Today's Top Five List contributors were:
Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL - 1, 9
Randy Wohl, Israel - 2
Sam Evans, Charleston, SC - 3 (Hall of Fame)
Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA - 4 (Hall of Fame)
Kim Moser, New York, NY - 5, 6
Jay Allen, New Orleans(!), LA - 6, 14
John Hering, Alexandria, VA - 7
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL - 8
Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA - 10
Donna Tschetter, Saratoga Springs, NY - 11
Michael Wolf, Bronx, NY - 12
Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA - 13 (Rookie!)
Roger P. Ciotti, Kenosha, WI - 15
Don Findlay, Mt. Vernon, IA - 16
Today's entries: 100 submissions by 34 contributors.

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