The Top 16 Excuses Used For Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket

I Find Karma (adam@cs.caltech.edu)
Thu, 29 Aug 96 10:07:09 PDT


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This list is from July 11, 1994, and can be found on the
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The Top 16 Excuses Used For Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket

16> In pain from multiple paper cuts to the wrist and throat.

15> "Aye, Captain, I have to get the Enterprise washed, gassed
up, and back to Starfleet Command before they miss 'er!"

14> "We're trying to get the President to Miss Jones' apartment
for his next, um -- <ahem> -- cabinet meeting."

13> Key evidence obtained from illegal search of your mansion.

12> "According to Einstein's Theory of Relativity, I COULDN'T
go that fast!"

11> "Tons of drugs are headed for Woodstock, and I wanted to
be first in line to make a citizen's arrest."

10> "We don't have speed limits on *my* planet."

9> Frozen accelerator pedal was magically unfrozen by
police radar.

8> "The Cameroon-Romania game is on in five minutes!"

7> "Excuse me officer, are those Bugle Boy Jeans you're wearing?"

6> "I gotta get to the bakery -- it's time to make the
doughnuts!!"

5> "Eight minutes to Wapner. Eight minutes to Wapner."

4> "Oops! It seems I've dropped my driver's license on
my crotch..."

3> "Bob Barker pulled up beside us, leered at my wife,
and kept saying 'Come on down!'"

2> "Gimme a break, willya? The Gotti Family picnic is
starting in ten minutes."

and the #1 Excuse Used For Getting Out Of A Speeding Ticket...

1> "All those vodka tonics make it *mighty* damn difficult
to focus on the speedometer."

[ This list copyright 1994 by Chris White ]
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Today's Top Five List contributors were:
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Mitch Patterson, Melbourne, FL - 1, 9
Randy Wohl, Israel - 2
Sam Evans, Charleston, SC - 3 (Hall of Fame)
Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA - 4 (Hall of Fame)
Kim Moser, New York, NY - 5, 6
Jay Allen, New Orleans(!), LA - 6, 14
John Hering, Alexandria, VA - 7
Wade Kwon, Birmingham, AL - 8
Ed Brooksbank, Sacramento, CA - 10
Donna Tschetter, Saratoga Springs, NY - 11
Michael Wolf, Bronx, NY - 12
Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA - 13 (Rookie!)
Roger P. Ciotti, Kenosha, WI - 15
Don Findlay, Mt. Vernon, IA - 16
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