FW: =Real Life= Cybersex

Jim Whitehead (ejw@ics.uci.edu)
Wed, 11 Sep 1996 09:53:26 -0400


To: Multiple recipients of list <kuci-talk@UCI.EDU>
Subject: fwd: FW: =Real Life= Cybersex (fwd)
X-Listprocessor-Version: 6.0c -- ListProcessor by Anastasios Kotsikonas
X-Comment: KUCI Operation Discussion

for all you ircers out there - the truth reveiled!

Seth

> ~~~ Real Life Cybersex ~~~
> =

> Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
> =

> Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse and a miniskirt and =

> high heels. My measurements are 36-24-36. I work out every day. I'm
> toned and perfect. What do you look like?
> =

> Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have =

> on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I am also =

> wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from
> dinner - it smells a little funny.
> =

> Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?
> =

> Wellhung: OK.
> =

> Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on =

> the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up
> into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its down to your crotch and begins
> to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat. =

> =

> Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
> =

> Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling. =

> =

> Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly. =

> =

> Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk =

> slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and
> rubbing.
> =

> Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and I accidently rip a
> hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.
> =

> Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
> =

> Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
> =

> Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My =

> soft breasts are rising and falling, rising and falling, as I breath =

> harder and harder.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's =

> stuck. Do you have any scissors?
> =

> Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back =

> and undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my
> breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
> =

> Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting
> the clasp.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your
> tongue all over me.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, =

> breasts. They're neat!
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm =

> nibbling your ear.
> =

> Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit. =

> =

> Sweetheart: What?
> =

> Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm wiping your spit off my breasts with the remains of
> my blouse.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with
> a <plop>.
> =

> Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your =

> hard tool.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,
> in and out, nibbling on your ... umm ... wait a minute.
> =

> Sweetheart: What's the matter?
> =

> Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking. =

> =

> Sweetheart: Are you OK?
> =

> Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
> =

> Sweetheart: Can I help?
> =

> Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm =

> fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep
> your cups? =

> =

> Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
> =

> Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm on the bed, aching for you.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the =

> cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark.
> I'm lost. Where's the bedroom.
> =

> Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
> =

> Wellhung: I found it.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm tuggin off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so =

> badly.
> =

> Wellhung: Me too.
> =

> Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked
> bodies pressing against each other.
> =

> Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts. =

> =

> Sweetheart: Why don't you take off you glasses?
> =

> Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the
> glasses on the night table.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
> =

> Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room
> and toward the bathroom.
> =

> Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
> =

> Wellhung: I find the bathroom. It's dark. I'm feeling around for the
> toilet. I lift the lid.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, =

> but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
> =

> Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
> =

> Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. =

> Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
> =

> Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
> =

> Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my ... you know ... thing ... in
> your ... you know ... woman's thing.
> =

> Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
> =

> Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss =

> your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand
> it another second! Slide it in! Screw me now!
> =

> Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
> =

> Sweetheart: What?
> =

> Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around, an incredulous look
> on my face.
> =

> Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all =

> floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
> =

> Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my
> underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet, nasty blouse.
> =

> Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night =

> table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair
> spray, picture frames and your candles.
> =

> Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes. =

> =

> Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One =

> of your candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm
> pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
> =

> Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
> =

> Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
> =

> **********************************************************************