Re: Announcing: C+- ("C, More or Less")

I'm not a real doofus, but I play one at a national laboratory. (
Tue, 19 Nov 1996 13:11:38 -0600

Much more can, and will, be said, of course.

There are no global variables. "ThinkGlobal" variables attempt to influence
other subjects, but their effects are local at best (ie, implicitly weak).
They do feel good about themselves, however, and are a big help with
self-righteous logic.

"InYourFace" variables clearly exist, but are Tacit (ie, repressed) in
codependent routines.

Instances of Objects are replaced by Subjective Incidents, or more popularly,
Run-Ins With The In-Laws, Neighbors, and The Authorities. Spouse Incidents
are generally well-hidden.

Inheritance By Marriage (which may have class implications in some locales) is
implicit, but never talked about in polite company, except by Derided Classes.
It is expected that prenuptial agreements will be available in the Standard
Template Library, but this can occasionally be denied with messages of the
form ".IfYouReallyLovedMe... ()", for Gullible Subjects. In-Law classes are,
by definition, non-friends.

Inheritance By Theft is widespread. Some papers have implicated the Central
Inheritance Authority, but that's mere speculation, so it counts. "Cookies"
and "Magic Numbers" are most likely involved, too.

Delegation Of Authority is primarily a method for transfer of the attribute
"Blame". The standard library has a full set of appropriate macros like

Garbage collection has been taken out of the subject's hands. If it happens at
all, which is rare and depends on the neighborhood, it is greatly enhanced by
delegation of various obsequy operators ".SmoochPrecinctCaptainsButt ()",
".ContributeSoftMoney ()", and ".BrowbeatNeighbors ()". Machine-Based Garbage
Collection at its finest.

Destructors may not do anything except reassign voting rights.

Random number generators are superceded by OddsMakers.

Debuggers will have to be rewritten to conform to the doctrines of Probable
Cause and Habeus Corpus. In order for a debugger to attach to a subject's
virtual address space, it must first obtain a certification token (called a
Warrant). Assessing the value of a public member may be done in a Press
Conference, but only after the appropriate messages are sent to the subject,
typically via a call to ".MirandizeMe ()". It is illegal to debug code unless
there is an "Attorney Daemon" active, aka the "slimed" process. This happens
anyway in some jurisdictions.

A certain amount of stochastic variation (aka Bell Curve) in subject behavior
is assumed. Prejudices, agendas, preferences, and heuristic influences both
visible (Snits) and invisible (Cramps) all combine in complex probability
amplitudes to produce a result that noone could have predicted. Some causal
relationships have been noted in conjunction with the ".PolishMyWeapons ()"
method, though.

Lint is replaced by the Limited, Modified Hang-Out Routine.

Object Permanence can be overridden (for existential programming, e.g.) with
the "inst" (I never said that) and "ichy" (I can't hear you) pragmas.

The ".Wrong ()" method is its own inverse. Successive calls are collapsed by
the compiler to ".Right ()" for efficiency.

".Ignorance ()" *is* an instance of the Excuse class.