inevitable Clinton jokes
Tue, 27 Jan 1998 11:58:50 -0800
How did 500 women sampled at random respond when asked if they would have
sex with Bill Clinton?
86 percent responded 'Not again!'
During Nixon's administration we had a crisis involving 'Tricky Dicky'
Now we have a crisis involving 'Licky Dicky'
Did you hear Clinton doesn't use bookmarks?
He just bends over the pages!
Why does Bill drink so much coffee?
He is required to 'stay up' for many hours to satisfy the needs of his staff
Why did Bill get into this problem?
He didn't know that harass was one word.
President Clinton, what do you want to do about this abortion bill?
He replies, 'I guess...pay it!'
Clinton Presidential Anthem -- Kneel to the Chief
Why is there no proof?
She swallowed the evidence.
What was Bill's rationalization that oral sex is not a sexual encounter?
Because Monica did not swallow!
Who's handling the case?
Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica
President: Improper? ... Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of
the the sweetest interns I've ever had.
What's the difference between Watergate and Zippergate
At least this time, there's no doubt about the identity of 'Deep Throat'.
How did Bill reply regarding questions of 'coaching' Monica's testimony?
'It wasn't words that I put in her mouth'.
Why didn't Monica swallow?
Because that would be destruction of evidence.
Why is Chelsea upset about Zippergate?
Her dad is getting more dates than she is.
Why did Monica Lewinsky accept an offer to work on the White House staff?
She didn't understand know what STAFF he really meant.
What is Revlon calling it's new Presidential winter line for 1998?
Shades of the truth
Why is President Clinton waiting to tell his side of the story?
He's waiting for Marv Albert to do the interview.
Who's going to score first in the Super Bowl? The Denver Broncos or the
Green Bay Packers?
What was the White House Chief of Staff's reaction to the Lewinsky story?
Now I know why they kept calling Monica the 'head' intern!
What's Hillary's new nickname for Bill's penis?
The Titanic - because over 1500 interns went down on it.
What was yesterday's Washington Post Headline?
Bush Beats Clinton
What is Clinton's new Secret Service Code Name?
What's the difference between Gennifer, Paula, Monica and Hillary?
The first three prefer to sleep with men.
How does Hillary feel?
She may be the FIRST LADY, but she won't be the LAST
What advice did Yasar Arafat give President Clinton in their meeting on
January 22, 1998?
Bill....Goats don't talk!!
What do Bill and Ross Perot have in common?
They both heard a giant sucking sound!
President Clinton said to Monica, I didn't tell you to lie in deposition . . .
I told you to lie in THAT POSITION!
What's the actual title of Hillary's book?
It Takes a Village . . . to Satisfy my Husband
Realization of another White House intern . . .
And all that time I thought that humming was the shredder!