The Ernie Factor II

CobraBoy (
Sat, 31 Jan 1998 12:02:56 -0800

"Where Do Pets Come From?"

It is reported that the following addition to the Book of Genesis was
discovered in the Dead Sea Scrolls. If authentic, it would shed light on
the question, "Where do pets come from?"

And Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the Garden, you walked with me every
day. Now I do not see you any more. I am lonely here, and it is
difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will
be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so
that you will know I love you, even when you cannot see me. Regardless of
how selfish and and childish and unlovable you may be, this new companion
will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a
good animal. And God was pleased.

And the new animal was glad to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And
Adam said, "But Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom
and all the good names are taken and I cannot think of a name for this new

And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be
a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own
name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And
Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged
his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the
Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and
preens like a peacock and he believes that he is worthy of adoration. Dog
has indeed taught him that he is loved, but no one has taught him

And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who
will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion
will remind him of his limitations, so he will know he is not worthy of

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam. And Cat would not obey
Adam. And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was
not the Supreme Being. And Adam learned humility.

And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved.

And Cat did not care one way or the other.