Re: Kleenex with Menthol (fwd)

I'm not a real doofus, but I play one at a national laboratory. (
Mon, 7 Jul 1997 11:23:36 -0500


> So much for chicken soup.

I don't want chicken soup-imbued kleenex.

> But allergy sufferers might find some problems with the new, scented product.

Duh. Maybe Tim would like a Havana-flavored hanky?

> The product is three-ply, which makes it one-and-a-half times larger than
> regular tissue.

No it doesn't. I makes it thicker, stronger and/or softer. Being
one-and-a-half times larger makes it one-and-a-half times larger.

> ''They used to be called 'man-sized.''

Now they're feminine-gender-challenged-sized.

> Kleenex Coldcare will go head-to-head with Procter & Gamble's Puffs

That's naris-to-naris.

> offering an unscented aloe-sated tissue.

This is by far the silliest misuse of the language in the article. "To sate"
means "to cloy with overabundance", "to appease (as a thirst or violent
emotion) by indulging to the full." They're not even aloe-saturated, or they'd
make you goopier than you were.

This is the problem with using "vocabulary enhancement" techniques. Better to
use a dictionary and avoid flashy but inappropriate words. IMHO.


"I got a head full of ideas that're driving me insane." Bob Dylan
"No, it's just a sinus infection." Wayne Baisley