RE: New Apple CEO?

CobraBoy! (
Mon, 28 Jul 1997 16:08:39 -0700

Joe Barrera around 3:47 PM -0700 on 7/28/97, brainstormed and came up with

> > Isn't he the moron who oversaw the demise of the IBM PC, the slow
> death
> > of OS/2 and others?
> What better qualifications could you ask for? Wasn't that Tim's point?
> (Or am I once again giving Tim more credit than he's due?)


you can never give CobraBoy! more credit than he's due.

As a matter of fact I was thinking about this very thing while eating a big
beefy burrito at Taco Bell. And you know WTF Apple has done completely
wrong through all this and still does? They haven't admitted they blew it.
Think about it. Everybody admits their problems nowadays. Actors check into
Betty Ford, companies screw up big time and take out ad's saying Ooops...
But not Apple. So this is what I would do my first day as C.E.O. of Apple.

1) Hire all FoRKers. If nothing else they would cause a lot of trouble and
keep things in check. (yes even you Joe)

2) Hire Leo Burnett for all the Ad agency. They created the Marboro man
campaign. They do good middle of America advertising. Something Apple has
never had.

3) Create a Net PC out of the Pippin logic board and get Oracle to order a
shit load of them.

4) Place large ad's in major newspapers, radio etc with the theme "We blew
it" (sub: But that was then and this is now) Telling everything that was
done wrong and now what is going on right at Apple. Keep this up until
Rhapsody campaign starts.

5) Sell OpenStep Intel 4.2 for $299.00 everywhere. Fuck Adobe, they can
sue, it has to get into people's hands.

6) Spin Off the PowerBook division

7) Wave all licencing fee's for clone builders. Sys software would be
installed like Ms. (run time only)

8) Stop the Rhapsody team from worrying about backwards Mac compatibility
with Rhapsody (blue box? yellow snow? I can't remember what this is called)
The way Mac software vendors are dropping it won't matter that much in
another year.

9) Stop virtually all support of the K-12/EDU market. This has hurt Apple
far more than is realized. People come away from using these old poorly
maintained, slow Mac's thinking that is what is current. Then they look at
a P-133 and go "wow, Mac's don't do that."

11) Discard all "extra" divisions, monitors, scanners, drives, whatever is

12) Order at least 10 lbs of humbolt county's finest, because this is going
to be a bloody battle.



... at least you can drive something fast, arm your-
self with powerful tools, and look good doing it.
- Preview Release of the Be Operating System

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