Apple is Elvis

spunkanado (tomwhore@interport.net)
Wed, 30 Jul 1997 12:56:35 -0400 (EDT)


Written by Gerry DeSeve

Apple is Elvis

Elvis, as we all know, was a vibrant and charismatic Tennesseean who rose
meteorically from obscurity to global superstardom. With his forays into
hijacking black musical styles, Hollywood, drugs, stupid outfits and
complete self obliteration, Elvis set the stage for every rock and roll
performer since, none of whom have been to surpass his distinguished
career of avant feats.

Apple, as we all know, was a vibrant and charismatic startup which rose
meteorically from obscurity to global superstardom. With their excursions
into plagiarizing operating systems, Hollywood, misguided visionary ideas,
wrong-headed hires and near-complete self-obliteration, Apple has endured
everything new start-ups could ever dream of, but which the neophytes of
today will never be able to transcend.

In short, Apple and Elvis share a common trajectory. Just as no rock star
will be as innovative as Elvis, no startup will be able to surpass the
legacy left by Apple. The following table illustrates this:

Elvis Apple
Backed by Colonel Parker Backed by Kleiner Perkins

Stole African American music Stole Xerox Operating System

Went into the Army, Carrer took a dive Hired JScully, Compnay took a dive

Roustabout, Kissn Cousin, Spinout Macportable, Pippin

Drifted into obscurity after doing too Drifted into obscurity after doing
many movies to many dead end technologies

'68 Comeback Hired Steve Jobs back

Went to Vegas for a return to stardom MacWorld '97

Got bloated and took drugs Got bloaed and acted like it was
on drugs

The Beatless Microsoft

Maybe it would be best if the King and Apple just shared the same fate...
Gerry DeSeve
Director of Marketing and Strategy
Kinetoscope