Earth Atomizer Let's Go.
"you can't think about it, really, because if you do then you go crazy,
stark gibbering spitting and pissing in your pants crazy. so you don't think
about it. but once in a while you do think about it, and there's all this
weird shit going on and you can't believe it can all really be like this.
you think of all the bad, bad things you do to yourself out of some weird
need. you go places, bad places, to fulfill some gnawing need, and you do
ugly things to yourself and other people not because of the ugliness --
well, sometimes because of the ugliness, i guess -- but usually because
there's something else there and you'd do it no matter what. a whole town.
bus drivers, school teachers, cops, storekeepers, housewives. little boys,
little girls. very little. they play games with it, like very special
hide-and-seek, and very special spin the bottle and very special poker. and
every day the little boys to get up and walk to the bus stop with the daddy
who mouth raped them the night before, and they have to get on the bus with
the bus driver who rubbed his shit in their hair, and say "yes ma'am" to the
lady who made them lick her the night before, and then they have to go home,
you know, where daddy and mommy have been making martinis for the little get
together later on, and go hide under the covers where they know they'll be
found anyway and day in and day out for the rest of their motherfucking
lives and then they grow up and they have babies and like i said, you don't
think about it because you go crazy."
PS. I vaguely remember being naive enough to think that nothing that bad
could ever happen. But that's probably before I went crazy.
PS. I hate my parents.