Ernie & Bert, Mergers in the News

Dr. Ernest N. Prabhakar (
Sat, 6 Jun 98 16:48:18 -0700

Hi all,

Right, so I need some commentary bits to justify archiving this publicly.

One, I'm back online - Caltech seems to have gotten its act together.

Two, this illustrates my general thesis that humour is a big indicator
of what issues REALLY matter. Merger-mania seems to have taken over
from Microsoft as the butt of jokes.


-- Ernie P.

P.S. What's next, CorbaBoy merging with LloydWood Inc.? :-)

Begin forwarded message:

Subject: Mergers in the News

NEW YORK, April 20 (AP) --
In a move that rocked the Street today, Bert and Ernie announced that
they had merged to form Bernie, a giant conglomeration of felt that
will move them into the No. 2 spot, past Big Bird and just behind

In recent years the two had lost sponsorship from the letter P and the
number 5, and analysts say the merger will help solidify their market

"This is a logical move for us," Bert said. "'Share' is our favorite

In a deal that resonated in homes across the country, Cats announced
today that it had completed a hostile takeover of Dogs. The new
company, which Cats said will be called OnePet, will supplant the
recently created Birdfishgroup as the world's largest supplier of home
companion services.

There has long been a rumor that W. R. Grace Co. was going to buy the
Fuller Brush Co. and Mary Kay Cosmetics and then merge with Hale
Business Systems. This would result in the new mega-corporate entity
known as ..."Hale Mary Fuller Grace." ...