RE: The Nice Guy Syndrome

CobraBoy (
Fri, 12 Jun 1998 10:40:57 -0700

At 9:40 AM -0700 6/12/98, Lisa Dusseault (Exchange) came up with this:

> Bing! Right on the button.
> Nice/passive/boring guys are much more frustrating (to me) than guys with
> whom I can have a sharing between equals.


> Turn the situation around (if you think you're at risk of doing this to
> women) and ask how you'd like a totally passive woman, immersed in her
> boyfriend without a thought of herself, always "yes dear, yes dear".
> There's enough of those too. You might even like it, at first, but it would
> become galling over long periods.

Well the dear part would drive me craaazy. Yes master, though is not a problem.

Let's pin a big award on Lisa for having the huevo's to admit the truth.

However let's add some clarification to this little thread.

1) Women don't like nice guys.

This has to do with the complex makeup of women. Women like to mother. If
you don't give a women something to do she gets bored. Much like a keeping
working dog kept in a small apartment. Many many men have had their hearts
broken when they found out their wife/girlfriend was cheating on them. Then
when they found out with who they were shattered. "I was the best for her,
I did everything for her and look how she repaid me." Well that was the
problem bucko. You gave her everything. You should have come home, bent her
over the couch, did her then told her to get you a drink. As strange as
that sounds that is what women want. Although most aren't as honest as Lisa
and won't admit it.

2) The "bitch" factor

Now this is one I have always marveled at. Let's make a simple assumption
for the sake of argument. Bitch = Asshole. How many times do you see a
woman driving around with a licence plate that reads "Bitch on board, or
Super Bitch" or some variant? Can you imagine a guy having a licence plate
that says "Asshole on board, Super Asshole?" Of course not, YET this bitch
factor is seen as an admirable factor to the female mind.

So what does that tell us? Well it tells me that women have a certain
respect for egotistical self centered behavior. Isn't that the classical
definition of a "bitch?" So here again the "nice guy" is shit out of luck.

3) The abuse factor

An unbelievable number of women have been the victim of abuse. Whither
sexual, physical, or emotional. So they have come to expect to be treated
badly. No, I'm not saying to beat the crap out of someone, however the
point is their identity is created by a series of events and corrections.
People that have been the victim of abuse will continue to seek some form
of abuse. They can be a great corporate CEO with everything going for them
and engage in risky behavior that would bring down the whole thing. Look at
our President. So the woman that your so smitten with might react to a
"nice guy" with utter distain because she doesn't see in you what she needs
for her identity.



Most catastrophes occurr from a long series of small unrelated, yet uncontrollable failures.

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