J: "Mr. Rovok--status report?"
R: "That last explosion released a massive burst of anti-cluon
radiation. Shields are down to 97%. XML generators are
offline. Engineering reports they are no longer playing with a
full deck."
J: "Go to Orange Alert. Invasive manuevers."
T: "JaneWAIS, You Ignorant Slut!"
J: "Not now, Mr. Byris. Harvey, bring us around."
H: "What are we going to do? `Moon' them?"
J: "Six-foot-two, if you have a better suggestion, now's the
time."
6: "Yes, I believe I've found a solution. I've been studying
Neejob's recipe files. By venting warp plasma directly into the
food replicators we should be able to synthesize enough Tommy's
Chili to eat through their defensive perimeter."
J: "Eeeeuuu! I just hope it works. If not, you can kiss your
astrometrics goodbye."
6: "I hope this works as well. If I have to eat any more of
Neejob's cooking I'm going to be venting something a lot worse
than warp plasma."
J: "You and me both. Dismissed."
R: "I stand corrected. It seems there's been some sort of
malfunction on the holodeck."
<<intercom>>
D: "It's all wrong!"
J: "What's wrong, Doctor?"
D: "I was running the Campus simulation, exploring my origins in
the late 18th century."
J: "_20th_ century."
D: "Whatever. As I was saying, 3% of the record appears to have
vanished."
J: "Doesn't sound like any great loss..."
D: "But the icons are gone! And so are the floppy drives!"
T: "Ah yes. The discovery of Viagra."
J: "Viagra?"
D: "An early treatment for emitter dysfunction. I can assure you
my emitters are fully functional. Well, at least 97% functional."
J: "In that case, I suggest you return to sick bay immediately.
We may be receiving casualties."
D: "Casualties? What sort of casualties?"
J: "Does `Six in an apron' ring any bells?"
D: "No, but if you'll hum a few bars..."
J: "_Now_, Doctor. Your charming bedside manner will have to
wait."
T: "What about _my_ charming bedside manner?"
J: "Your bedside manner will have to wait too. I'll be in my
Ready Room."
R: "Curious. Have you ever noticed how the captain always
retires to her Ready Room when she isn't `ready?'"
H: "Tell me about it. At least she doesn't need to recharge
overnight."
6: "Six to the bridge. We're ready down here. And Harvey,
you're no `Energizer Bunny' yourself."
H: "Six, have you been eavesdropping on us again?"
6: "Of course. I am Bored. Resistance is futile."
T: "Here we go again."
R: "Gentlemen, may I point out that you at least _have_ a social
life."
H: "Lighten up, Rovok. At least you'll have sixty thousand
frequent flyer light-years when all of this is over."
R: "You'll have to excuse me if I don't share your enthusiasm."
T: "Uh, Harv, you don't know?"
H: "Know? Know what?"
T: "Rovok's on an award ticket. He doesn't earn anything."
-=EPS=-