RE: [VOID] A Clockwork Rohit

Josh Cohen (
Sat, 7 Mar 1998 20:47:17 -0800

Wildly funny reading!

you can deconstruct the meaning of the 'bang'...

However, I have one disagreement....
[see below]

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Rohit Khare []
> Sent: Saturday, March 07, 1998 7:24 PM
> To:
> Cc:;;
> Subject: [VOID] A Clockwork Rohit
> What qualities I have, can't be advertised. Call yourself
> an artist,
> and you've labeled it: people might stick around to plumb your
> presumably-crazed intellect to see if it's any fun. I haven't found
> any ways of conveying the complicated character you see on
> FoRK in 30
> seconds, though. Everything I can say leads to a tar pit: computer
> geek, boring business type, snobbish globetrotter,
> arrogant academic,
> and nothing that generally conveys the sense of art and
> uniqueness I
> see in geeks.
> And even then, I'd like to know what the secrets are for
> introducing
> yourself to a group of women. Note group: they never leave
> the pack.
> Men, you watch, you pick 'em off one by one. Life would be
> sooo much
> easier if I were gay: I know how to pick up guys!
Ahh, a common cry of straight men. I promise you, its not so easy.
I suppose if I could find a cadre of gay geeks that found me attractive
(and I found them attractive) I might have better luck.
I always seem to meet guys interested in me who I have trouble talking
Him: "Hi, whats your name"
Me: "Josh, yours?"
Him: "Jordan."
(While Im fantasizing, jordan is the name of the last 'really cute' guy
I met recently )
We'll exchange a few mood-de-tensioning pleasantries, discussion on
where from, moved here when, and eventually...

him: "So Josh, what do you do?"
Me: "Im a [.. insert an attempt at a socially positive description of

Then either:
him: *yawn* "Oh. Another. bye."

him: "thats really interesting, I have a computer and I just got
an AOL account. Those chat rooms are loads of fun.."
Me: *yawn* "My, Its late."

I guess the main problem is that the only visible place to meet
other fags is at gay events. Since naturally, the geek type isnt
terribly social, he doesnt often end up at these events or bars.
As an aside, geeks arent terribly fashion conscious, which is a
big problem for me - standing out like a sore thumb in a gay club
full of gym bodied GQ dressed beauties.
(Im a socially inept geek as well as a terrible fashion model,
in gay terms, It takes a great amount of effort to actually
force myself to go to these events or bars..)

Anyway, since the geek type doesnt typically frequent the places
where gays are visible, its tough to connect. Other options are
*.motss, work gay and lesbian groups, or political / support groups.
Im tired of running around being a flag waving homosexual.
I just want someone who is a little less of an emotional train wreck
than me. Is that so much to ask?

In "normal" social events, its often hard to pick out
the "family" guys, they dont stand out or differentiate themselves
as clearly as females do. (Or people of the opposite sex).

Things can get especially bad when a high quantity of alchohol is
involved. One's normally skilled gaydar is always skewed when trying
to analyze a guy who you are attracted to ( analyze -> hope ), but
alchohol can seriously lower inhibitions and lead to all sorts of
nasty embarassing situations..

Add all that to the normally dorky behavior of not being able
to complete sentences when conversing with a very attractive subject.
("Im usually not such a dork. uhhhh"), and things certainly
arent "easy".

One thing I have noticed, which you might be interested in, is
that since I've accepted being a big fag, I seem to have a habit
of picking up women. I was never very popular in High School
with women, but these days, I tend to notice more interest from
women. Maybe Im just more myself or relaxed when talking with
women which helps that. I dunno. Of course, any wise woman
can detect that Im on "the other team", but some many less
skilled women seem to miss that.

Anyway, maybe we should have a social gathering of
cute gay geeks and voluptuous indian? women. You can charm
the geeks and hand them off to me, while I make time with the
women and hand them off to you .

As an alternative, you could just start telling everyone
that your gay to entice women to feel comfortable hanging out
with you. Then once you get close with them lean close
(works best when drunk) and say
"I think, (pause), I have a confession to tell, (pause)
I think that I might be bi...."

Josh Cohen <>
Program Manager IE - Networking Protocols