Program Development Cycle
By David Lubar
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program
shink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and
12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an
elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet.
Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside
details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code s/he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the
testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't
work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature
product announcement based on an over-optimistic programming
schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is
nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the
137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department
a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using
profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires
programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
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