ebonics, redux

duck (duck@hellskitchen.com)
Sat, 21 Jun 1997 14:36:33 -0400 (EDT)

hope this isn't a repost (i get confused)


>> This paper was turned in by an Oakland High school student who
>> received the highest honors at the school district's ebonics
>> translation competition.
>> Assignment:
>> Please translate the following song lyrics from ebonics to standard
>> English.
>> Artist: Notorious B.I.G.
>> Album: Ready to Die
>> Song: One more chance (remix)
>> First things first, I poppa, freaks all the honeys
>> Dummies - playboy bunnies, those wantin' money
>> Those the ones I like 'cause they don't get nathan'
>> But penetration, unless it smells like sanitation
>> Garbage, I turn like doorknobs
>> Heart throb, never, black and ugly as ever
>> However, I stay coochied down to the socks
>> Rings and watch filled with rocks
>> As a general rule, I perform deviant sexual acts with women of all
>> kinds, including but not limited to those with limited intellect, nude
>> magazine models, and whores. I particularly enjoy sexual encounters
>> with the latter group as they are generally disappointed in the fact
>> that they only receive penile intercourse and nothing more, unless of
>> course, they douche on a consistent basis. Although I am extremely
>> unattractive, I am able to engage in these types of sexual acts with some
>> regularity. Perhaps my sexuality is somehow related to my fancy and
>> expensive jewelery.
>> And my jam knock in the Mitsubishi
>> Girls pee pee when they see me, Nava-hoes creep me in they tee pee
>> As I lay down laws like I lay carpet
>> Stop it - if you think your gonna make a profit
>> I enjoy playing my music loudly on my car stereo. Apparently, women
>> enjoy this also because they become sexually aroused when they see me
>> driving. Oddly enough, when I visit the Native American reservations,
>> some of the more sexually promiscuous Indian women attempt to seduce
>> me in their homes. Their intent is to divest me of my earnings. Such
>> actions are unacceptable.
>> Don't see my ones, don't see my guns - get it
>> Now tell ya friends Poppa hit it then split it
>> In two as I flow with the Junior Mafia
>> I don't know what the hell's stoppin' ya
>> I'm clockin' ya - Versace shades watchin' ya
>> Once ya grin, I'm in game, begin
>> Understand this fact: you can have neither my money, nor my weapons.
>> I suggest that you inform your peers that we engaged in violent
>> sexual acts. Currently, I am rapping with my associates, the Junior
>> Mafia. I'm having some difficulty understanding why you refuse to
>> approach me. I am attempting to make eye contact with you through my
>> expensives glasses, and as soon as you respond with a smile, I will
>> approach you.
>> First I talk about how I dress and this
>> And diamond necklesses - stretch Lexuses
>> The sex is just immaculate from the back I get
>> Deeper and deeper - help ya reach the
>> Climax that your man can't make
>> Call and tell him you'll be home real late
>> Let's sing the break
>> I prefer to open the conversation with light banter about my wardrobe
>> and jewelery, then I like to discuss my collection of expensive cars.
>> This is more than enough to convince you to have sexual intercourse
>> with me. I am able to insert my penis further into you when I enter
>> you from behind. Furthermore, you will be able to reach orgasm. I
>> understand
>> this to be a problem with your current sexual partner. He needn't be
>> concerned about your whereabouts. Please phone him and inform him
>> that you won't be home for a while. By the way, please sing the chorus
>> of the song for me also.
>> She's sick of that song on how it's so long
>> Thought he worked his until I handled my biz
>> There I is - major pain like Damon Wayans
>> Low down dirty even like his brother Keenan
>> Schemin' - don't bring your girl 'round me
>> True player for real, ask Puff Daddy
>> Your current love interest no longer wishes to hear your fabrications
>> about the length of your member. After I had sexual intercourse with
>> your woman, she became enlightened as to the proper way it is supposed
>> to be performed; violently and immorally. It would be in your best
>> interest to keep your woman away from me as my sexual prowess is very
>> strong. If you are unconvinced, ask Puff Daddy.
>> You - ringin' bells with bags from Chanel
>> Baby Benz, traded in your Hyundai Excel
>> Fully equipped, CD changer with the cell
>> She beeped me, meet me at twelve
>> Despite the fact that you attempted to win her at her doorstep with
>> bags full of expensive clothes and a car (the lower end model Mercedes
>> Benz which you financed by signing over your current vehicle)
>> containing an expensive stereo and a cellular phone, your woman has
>> contacted me through my pager indicating that we should rendezvous at
>> midnight.
>> Where you at? Flippin' jobs, playin' car notes?
>> While I'm swimmin' in ya women like the breast stroke
>> Right stroke, left stroke what's the best stroke
>> Death stroke - tongue all down her throat
>> Nuthin' left to do but send her home to you
>> I'm through - can ya sing the song for me, boo?
>> You, on the other hand, jump from job to job, barely able to maintain
>> payments on the Mercedes Benz you purchased for your woman.
>> Meanwhile, I continue to engage in sexual intercourse and commit lewd
>> osculatory acts with your women. My only remaining option is to
>> request that they leave my home and return to you because I have
>> reached orgasm and no longer have a need for their presence.
>> So, what's it gonna be? Him or me?
>> We can cruise the world with pearls
>> Gator boots for girls
>> The envy of all women, crushed linen
>> Cartier wrist-wear with diamonds in 'em
>> The finest women I love with a passion
>> Ya man's a wimp, I give that ass a good thrashin'
>> The ultimate decision rests with you. Whom do you choose as your
>> sexual partner. I can take you on cruises around the world. I will
>> dress you in the finest jewelery and footwear. You will be envied by
>> women worldwide in your fine clothes and jewelery. There is a special
>> place in my heart for beautiful women. I will defeat your man in an
>> altercation because he is effeminate.
>> High fashion - flyin' into all states
>> Sexin' me while your man masturbates
>> Isn't this great? Your flight leaves at eight
>> Her flight lands at nine, my game just rewinds
>> Lyrically I'm supposed to represent
>> I'm not only the client, I'm the player president
>> You will be dressed in finest clothes on the runways of Paris. I will
>> fly you to every state to shop for fine clothes and jewelery. You
>> will enjoy sexual intercourse with me and your man will be forced to
>> pleasure himself through manual stimulation. What a life! I'll
>> return you to LaGuardia in time to catch your 8 o'clock flight. The
>> timing is perfect becuase I have scheduled a date with a second woman
>> who arrives at the same gate at 9 o'clock. I'll seduce her in the
>> same way that I seduced you. I rap well and I am a positive
>> reflection of my hometown. Not only am I a sexually deviant,
>> misogynistic, immoral, wealthy, male prostitute, but I also sit on the
>> board of directors of the organization that governs others of my
>> kind.

****** "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the
lowest crime rates in the country."

- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC