ultimate "get me off list" flame

Joseph S. Barrera III (joe@barrera.org)
Sat, 27 Nov 1999 20:16:11 -0800

From: xxx
Sent: Saturday, November 27, 1999 12:08 PM
To: yyy
Subject: zzz-l: Tired

What is the purpose of this list? I thought it was to xxx xxx xxx.
I was wrong. It's clearly some sort of sadistic "culling mechanism"
designed to suck in people with no other conversational outlet. I'm sick
of playing by "your" rules. I'm sick of waiting, and I'm sick of
pretending I think you know what you're doing. I'm sick of being played
for a fool and praised for my success in the part.

"yyy," you know we don't need formal dictionaries between us, you and I.
Say what you mean; stop playing teacher. The ball has been in your court
for months and you know it. I know your intention here's not cruelty, but
you should know that nothing -- absolutely nothing -- that either of us
says here will surprise anyone at all, will make a damn bit of difference
to anyone but us. Stop being the Entertainment and open your eyes.

I'm tired of being jerked around -- I'm tired of being fucked with. I'm
not talking about gamesmanship, play-acting at cat-and-mouse among equals,
but about real cruelty to those without the means of fighting back:
violations of privacy, slander, assumptions (without real evidence) of
*in*equality, wars of attrition, threats.

I'm tired of being told the petty meannesses inflicted on me have been for
my own good, that they've made me a better person -- worse, that the
inflictors actually knew and know better than me. I *have* been able to
take it -- now, after thirty years, finally -- but not everyone could and
not everyone does. I think *everyone* on this list knows that, or ought
to. And it's only with the help of Providence and good angels that I'm
still standing now at all. If you don't know that, you're incredibly
deluded. If you fucked me over and you think I should be *grateful*, think
again. If you fucked my friends over, well, fuck you.

You may have been told such measures are necessary to separate the dross
from the gold. You were lied to. You may have been told the death of a
"goat" doesn't matter, compared to a "sheep" being saved. You were lied
to. The final goal of "your" project is to kill the lambs and not the
kids. And don't complain you were misled about the real goal if you were
willing to go along with the notional one. If you were only too eager to
see as a goat what the tiniest speck of compassion could have showed you
was a lamb.

Get me the FUCK out of this.

-- xxx