**From:** Strata Rose Chalup (*strata@virtual.net*)

**Date:** Sat Oct 21 2000 - 11:04:36 PDT

**Next message:**Eirikur Hallgrimsson: "odd heirloom: silicon carbide tests from the '50's."**Previous message:**Robert Harley: "Anti-Linux ads from Microsoft"

...will have dawned when we can replace Julie Andrews and Dick van Dyke

with Esther Dyson and John Gilmore, as well as replacing some penguins

with BSDaemons, and get all the lip-synching right.

Come to think of it, "we", for some value of "we" which doesn't include

little ol' zero-video-editing-capability me, can probably already do

this.

BTW, if there's a Fork'r in the SF Bay area who'd let me do some 8mm

editing, would be much obliged. Still have my underwater video from the

wreck dive on the Hilma in Bonaire, and some misc YellowMan Reef

footage, to edit down into something reasonable.

Cheers,

_Strata

---fwd'd from several other places before it got to me----

*> Subject: How to Give a Math Lecture at a Party.
*

*> Date: Tue, 17 Oct 2000 20:32:09 -0700
*

*> From: Eric Hughes <eh@ricochet.net>
*

*> To: Dan Haney <salvarsan@std.com>
*

How to Give a Math Lecture at a Party.

1. Pick the right party. I would suggest the RSA patent expiration

party

to benefit the CryptoRights Foundation, but that party has already

happened. (See http://cryptorights.org/events/patent-benefit.html )

1a. Ensure that there are a bunch of people at the party who've

had

to learn more about modular rings than they ever thought they

would.

1b. Ensure that these people have also had to think about

analysis

of runtimes.

1c. In short, ensure that there are a bunch of cypherpunks and

their

fellow-travellers hanging around.

2. Have the MC give away the punch line by announcing that you're going

to

sing a funny song.

3. Begin by insisting that the MC was mistaken. Announce that you're

going to give a math lecture instead, and turn on the overhead

projector. (Props are important signals of intent here.)

4. Put up, in sequence, the following four slides. Prepare the slides

to

be unnecessarily notational.

4-1. A description of the RSA algorithm. Include the statement N=pq

and

make sure to include the notation for the Euler totient function.

4-2. A description of the algorithmic runtime of the Number Field

Sieve. It's really messy. Write it all out and go through it

in loving detail. Talk about the best known constants. Be sure

to drop Don Copperfield's name, because many good mathematical

cryptography lectures do so. Point out that the logarithm of a

logarithm is uncommon.

4-3. The assertion that the runtime of the NFS is slower than every

polynomial function in the limit of large inputs. Use first

order logic notation to avoid as many understandable words as

possible.

4-4. The assertion that the runtime of the NFS is faster than every

exponential function with arbitrary constant base in the limit

of large inputs. Again, use first order logic notation.

5. Say the words, "So the NFS has ..." and proceed without pause to the

next step.

6. Break into song. Sing the following lyrics to the obvious Mary

Poppins

tune.

*> Superpolynomial subexponential runtimes.
*

*> Even though in practice it would take you several lifetimes,
*

*> If you ran it long enough you'd always find those two primes.
*

*> Superpolynomial subexponential runtimes
*

*>
*

*> E to the root-log root-log-log [4x]
*

*>
*

*> When I was but a naive lad first coding two's and three's
*

*> I thought the only "orders of" were trivialities.
*

*> But when I saw this function something opened up to me
*

*> The elegance of computational complexity.
*

*>
*

*> [Chorus]
*

*>
*

*> I was at a meeting when up came a man in black
*

*> Who told me that his agency had mounted an attack.
*

*> Convincing him was fruitless that his budget would collapse
*

*> All I know his trumpeter will soon be playing Taps.
*

*>
*

*> [Chorus]
*

*>
*

*> In virtual environments has grown up a debate
*

*> Of whether strong cryptography can overthrow the state.
*

*> But several such technologies including public key
*

*> Shall herald in the coming age of crypto-anarchy.
*

*>
*

*> Superpolynomial subexponential runtimes
*

*> Superpolynomial subexponential runtimes
*

*> Superpolynomial subexponential runtimes
*

*> Superpolynomial subexponential runtimes
*

6a. Pause during each round of applause so the audience can hear all

the words.

Eric

------ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Strata Rose Chalup [strata@knownow.com] | strata@virtual.net, KF6NBZ Director of Network Operations | VirtualNet Consulting KnowNow, Inc [http://www.knownow.com] | http://www.virtual.net/ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

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