Redneck haiku

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Date: Mon Nov 13 2000 - 10:37:41 PST

Something neither Bush nor Gore, neither conservative, nor liberal. Just
returned from my hunting trip (firearms deer season just opened in N.H.),
still reveling in the culture.



 Naked in repose
 Silvery silhouette girls
 Adorn my mudflaps


 A painful sadness
 Cain't fit big screen TV through
 Double-wide's front door


 Unemployment's out.
 Hey, maybe I can git on


 Crusted in boogers
 Stained with Kool-Aid, baby has face
 Only Mama loves


 Distant siren screams
 Dumb-ass Verne's been mowing with
 Gasoline again


 Flashlights pierce darkness
 No nightcrawlers to be found
 Guess we'll gig some frogs


 Joyous, playful, bright
 Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
 Of old motor oil


 Seeking solitude
 Carl's ex-wife Tammy files fer
 Restraining order


 Damn, in that tube-top
 You make me almost fergit
 That you're my cousin


 I curse the rainbow
 Emblazoned upon his hood
 Goddamn Jeff Gordon


 Tonight we hunger
 Grandma sent grocery money
 To Robert Tilton


 Set the VCR
 Dukes of Hazard Marathon
 Starts at 9 O'Clock


 In WalMart toy aisle
 Wailing boy wants rasslin' doll
 Mama whups his ass


 White noise, buzzing static
 Call Earl; the satellite dish
 Needs new descrambler


 Sixty-five dollars
 And cyclone fence keeps me from
 My El Camino


 In early morning mist
 Mama searches Circle K for
 Moon Pies and Red Man


 Grinning, he displays
 The nine hundred beer cans that
 Fill his pick-up bed

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