Re: damage report

spunkanado (
Tue, 11 Nov 1997 06:48:57 -0500 (EST)

On Tue, 11 Nov 1997, Rohit Khare wrote:
> [This is to adam, but for FoRK's amusement, it has to with a debate
> about the thermodynamics of weight loss. Adam is pissed because, if
> anything, he spends MORE time in the gym than I do, but has been stuck
> just shy of 250 for a long time, while I have been edging down to him

Try this easyplan for controled eating.

Tongue piercing.

Yes my freinds Im here to tell you about the wonders of the piericed
tongue. It will straighten you right out about what is and is not
importnat to consume, given that each and every time you attempt to use
your mouth you are comfronted with the process in vivid focused clarity.

Do I realy need to eat this? Arent soft foods so much better? Steak, ah
no ill pass. What is this and how much will i have to chew? Oh geee I
would like to but the thought of it getting stuck on the barbell is..well
lets say ill pass. Do we have anymore low fat yogurt in the house?

Yes folks, tongue piercing. A focal point right in the center of the very
part of the body that causes me so much of my damage, the mouth.

The mouth, lets look at this fine work of tooth and tongue and throat and
voice. The mouth.

It devours more than we can ever need, it spills out thoughts we never
wanted heard, it lays good claims on bad ideas faster than ol masa brain
can whip it back in shape. You may not have needed that third piece of
pie, but your mouth sure thought it did. And taste, oh taste. The tongues
hypontic soul...and its demonic master. Lips to kiss,tongue to seduce and
the hot borne words to engulf another passions.

What to do what to do. Look about and the answer is clear.

Go forth to a place of body workings, as luck would have it many have
sprung up not only if the metropolitain centers of hipdom but also in the
side roads of the wide wonder America. Make sure it is a place of good
repute, lets face it we are trusting them with one of our favorite body

Have them forcep the tongue just so, prepare the soul and mind (having a
kind maiden to hold ones hand is a definte plus (thanks heather)) and
then shove a 12 gaue needle through the flesh organ of mad desire. Swab,
insert a stunnigly simple screw on bar bell roughly 3/4 inch in length.
Sit for a moment and take in that you have just had your body punctured by
choice.Acept the paper cup of minty antiseptic liquids, rinse and spit,
and only then realizing the art of spitting needs to be relearned(if your
fast on your feet, as your humble narrator was, you can pawn your failed
spitting/drooling attempt as a Jerry lewis bit, much laughs all around).

Three days latter.

Each word is made not of simple flapping but of crafted choice

Each mouthfull of food though of twice, prepared just so and enjoyed more
than perhaps any had ever been before.

Each kiss, to describe it is wanting for words, surfice it to say it is
like learing to learn all over again. Subtle hints, tactile cues, old
familar twists and turns now are made to become new born.

To feel the focus of this 3/4 inch addition to your body that wil not go
away, that redfines old ruts and makes you rexamine the cause of each
passing through it.

Over time it too will become learned, the mouth will again perchance have
reign to take back its old habits. But for a span of time,be it a
month or a fewweks, the focus is one what could be, waht should be. A
time is given to rethink retrain and restore the ways that will make my
goal of unobeseness more atainable.

A quick fix? Nothing ever is. A one off solution? Not if taken in a whole
of a plan. The easy way out? I can think of ewasier, in fact I have done
most of them.

Simlpy it is another wepon in the arsenal of my fight for myself.

(NB if you are in a proffesion where speaking is important, take some
time off, unless sounding like gilbert godfreid in grade scholl is what
your looking for in vocal skills.

NBB The letter L..ouch)