Happy New Year!

I'm not a real doofus, but I play one at a national laboratory. (BAISLEY@fndcd.fnal.gov)
Wed, 31 Dec 1997 23:38:49 -0600

It's already well into 1998 in Puerto Rico, and will be here too,
soon. Hope you have a terrific new year. To start it off on a
good note, here are some funny exchanges from our friends in the
broadcast industry.


Forwarded-by: glen@substance.abuse.blackdown.org
Forwarded-by: "Per Hammer" <phammer@raleigh.ibm.com>
Forwarded-by: Colin Boyd
Subject: SWET-L Digest - 9 Dec 1997 to 10 Dec 1997 (#1997-25)

Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable,
wasn't it?"
Expert: "Er, yes."
(Channel 4 News)

"As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one
is no different to any other."
(John Sleightholme - BBC1)

"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have
to score a goal."
(Jimmy Hill - BBC)

"Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy - four very different
(Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3)

"Cystitis is a living death, it really is. Nobody ever talks
about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my
arms removed and getting cystitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms
quite happily."
(Louise Wener (of Sleeper) in Q Magazine)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks
on the field."
(Metro Radio Sports Commentary)

Listener: "My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial
leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day."
Simon Fanshawe: "How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg?"
(Talk Radio)

Interviewer: "So did you see which train crashed into which
train first?"
15-year-old: "No, they both ran into each other at the same
(BBC Radio 4)

Presenter (to palaeontologist): "So what would happen if you
mated the woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?"
Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce
a mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth.
Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?"
Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks."

Kilroy-Silk: "Did you mean to get pregnant?"
Girl: "No. It was a cock-up."

Grand National winning jockey Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an
anti-climax after that!"
Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride,
everyone saw that."