FW: Who owns this Internet thing anyhow...

Dan Kohn (dan@teledesic.com)
Sun, 25 Oct 1998 12:10:51 -0800

This cracked me up, especially the RFC reference.

- dan

-----Original Message-----
From: Perry E. Metzger [mailto:perry@piermont.com]
Sent: Sunday, October 25, 1998 1:19 AM
To: Masataka Ohta
Cc: David_Conrad@isc.org; Valdis.Kletnieks@VT.EDU; ietf@ietf.org
Subject: Re: Who owns this Internet thing anyhow...

Masataka Ohta writes:
> Are you saying you, IETF, IESG, IAB or ISOC should attack those who
> are using unregistered protocol numbers?

What do you think the Secretariat does with all that money they get
from the meetings?

The IESG and IANA collectively control about three hundred megatons of
tactical (not strategic) nuclear weapons. They are used exclusively to
destroy installations using unregistered protocol numbers. The old
methods of sending in demolitions crews or snipers just weren't
sufficiently effective, as once the operation began the offending
software was often sent out over the net itself before there was a
chance to stop it. Nuclear weapons not only vaporize the offending
installation, but also send out a nice EMP burst that knocks out all
the routers in the area, preventing the spread of the contagion. They
used to be hard to get a hold of, but now thanks to all the IETFers
from the former Soviet block, its been much simpler.

Generally, the IANA makes the request, with the IESG deciding on the
final details of how the offending protocol is to be dealt
with. There's a crack team from the Security Area Directorate that
carries out most of the work in the field. Unfortunately, the recent
increase in workflow has necessitated the addition of a second
Security Area Director.

See RFC 715 for details, including the rules of engagement.


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