Re: Miscellany dot ding dang dong

Mark Baker (
Mon, 8 Sep 1997 09:47:39 -0400 (EDT)

On Mon, 8 Sep 1997, Jay Thomas wrote:
> this womans good side. A just-barely-20-something couple of hippies
> and their baby were detained from our bus. Their crime? Baby
> smuggling! You see, theres a *huge* black market in Canada for
> American babies. Gotta increase the IQ of the general populace
> somehow.

No no no, you've got it backwards. We ship *you* the likes of Alan Thicke,
Michael J. Fox, J.D. Roberts, and Pam Anderson. We find that a much more
effective and subtle means of reducing you south-of-the-border types to a
warm and comfie vegetative state.

> They had no birth certificate for their 2 month old baby
> (the nerve)

Honestly, they've got to be synaptically-challenged not to know that
you've got to have papers for babies crossing the border - both ways.
Even *I* know this, and I don't have kids.

>and Ms. Gestapo practically had the mother in tears,
> interrogating her, insulting her. It was pretty awful to watch.

Boo hoo..

> she gave them a lecture on the importance of carrying your
> documentation with you at all times, and let them on the bus.

I hope they got the message. Idiots.

> So, I can now, if I decide I so desperately want to be able to enter
> Canada a free man, and enjoy all the wonderful....Umm. Okay, someone
> help me out. What is it again that Canada has, that I can't get in the
> states?

Your mother's family?

>Besides a population who secretly wish they were Americans?

Yeah, that's it.

> Screw that. Who are they to decide if I have been rehabilitated, when
> they crime happened outside their country, outside their laws, a
> decade ago??

Who are we to decide?! Well, we're an autonomous country - we get to
decide all sorts of cool things - you'd be surprised.

>They're not getting another cent from me.

You better not make any phone calls up here then. We get part of your
long-distance charges. Letters too.

> No more tourism from my wife and I. Anything tagged Fabrique en Canada,
> labeled with a maple leaf or smelling faintly of moose, stays on the
> shelf.
> Buy American!!

Ah yes, protectionism. A bit tired, n'est pas?

Buy quality!!


Mark Baker, Ottawa Ontario CANADA.               Java, CORBA, Agents, Beans   

Too many dinosaurs, too few meteors - Seyma Atik