Q: What did princess Di turn into at midnight?
A: A wall.....
Q: What was Princess Di drinking on the night she died?
A: A Harvey Wallbanger and six chasers.
Q: What's the Queen getting Fergie for Christmas?
A: A trip to Paris, dinner at the Ritz, and a chauffeur-driven Mercedes
Q: Did you hear the new Mercedes Bens slogan?
A: Live like a king, Die like a princess
Q: What is the difference between Diana and Tiger Woods?
A: Tiger has a more accurate driver
Q: What was Diana's last statement to the press?
A: "Leave me alone, I'm a bloody princess!"
Q: What was Diana's last dessert dish?
A: A turnover.
Q: What do the letters DIANA stand for
A: Died In A Nasty Accident
Q: Did you hear what Dodi said just after they left the
A: Do you want to come for a drive with me and Di?
Q: What is Di's favorite music group?
A: The Crash Test Dummies
Q: What did the French hospital say to Charles when he picked
up the phone?
A: Princess Die.
Q: Why did Diana go and die?
A: She wanted to be the first to try on the Versace Summer '98
Q: What has 500 legs and 75 teeth?
A: The front row at Diana's funeral.
Q: Where did Diana go for her holiday?
A: All over Paris.
Q: What was the last thing Diana saw?
A: The back of her head.
Q: What would Diana be doing right now if she were alive?
A: Clawing at the inside of her coffin!
Q: What's the one thing that attracts Diana more than a wealthy
A: A brick wall
Q: What do you call an extinct animal that can't drive?
A: A Dodi!
Q: Did you hear about the new drink?
A: The Diana Wallbanger
Q: Why did they find Diana's lipstick on the steering wheel?
A: She was blowing the horn.
Q: What was the last thing she kissed?
A: The radiator
Q: How did Diana stay so thin?
A: It was that crash diet
Q: What's the difference between the NFL and Diana?
A: The NFL players come out of the tunnel Sunday.
Q: What happens when Princess is driven through a tunnel at
A: Princess Die
Q: What were Diana & Mother Teresa's last words?
A: "Oh, God!, I'm Coming!"
Did you know that Diana was on the radio the night she died?
Also on the dashboard, the seats, the floor.......
Diana's last night out on the town was a smashing good time!
"Those photographers drive me up the wall!"
Diana's funeral song: "Looking for love in all the wrong
Apparently Diana had Dandruff.
They found her Head and Shoulders on the road.
"Gee, is that a piece of lint on the windshield? Maybe I need a
"Darn, I can't auction this dress now!"
She changed her name from Princess Di to Princess Dead!
"Honey, I want to know you inside and out"
How long until we see a drag performer named Diana Paparazzi?
When Diana said she would never talk to the British press again,
I did not know she was speaking the truth!
If you rearrange the letters in "Princess Diana" they spell:
ASCEND IN PARIS
HAPS, DIES IN CAR
IN CANADA PRESS
SAND RICE SPAIN
I RINSE PAN'S CAD
Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner.
-Toa Te Ching