Di jokes

CobraBoy! (tbyars@earthlink.net)
Tue, 23 Sep 1997 22:48:34 -0700

In keeping with a long standing tradition of mockery on FoRK...

Q: What did princess Di turn into at midnight?

A: A wall.....

Q: What was Princess Di drinking on the night she died?

A: A Harvey Wallbanger and six chasers.

Q: What's the Queen getting Fergie for Christmas?

A: A trip to Paris, dinner at the Ritz, and a chauffeur-driven Mercedes

Q: Did you hear the new Mercedes Bens slogan?

A: Live like a king, Die like a princess

Q: What is the difference between Diana and Tiger Woods?

A: Tiger has a more accurate driver

Q: What was Diana's last statement to the press?

A: "Leave me alone, I'm a bloody princess!"

Q: What was Diana's last dessert dish?

A: A turnover.

Q: What do the letters DIANA stand for

A: Died In A Nasty Accident

Q: Did you hear what Dodi said just after they left the

A: Do you want to come for a drive with me and Di?

Q: What is Di's favorite music group?

A: The Crash Test Dummies

Q: What did the French hospital say to Charles when he picked
up the phone?

A: Princess Die.

Q: Why did Diana go and die?

A: She wanted to be the first to try on the Versace Summer '98

Q: What has 500 legs and 75 teeth?

A: The front row at Diana's funeral.

Q: Where did Diana go for her holiday?

A: All over Paris.

Q: What was the last thing Diana saw?

A: The back of her head.

Q: What would Diana be doing right now if she were alive?

A: Clawing at the inside of her coffin!

Q: What's the one thing that attracts Diana more than a wealthy

A: A brick wall

Q: What do you call an extinct animal that can't drive?

A: A Dodi!

Q: Did you hear about the new drink?

A: The Diana Wallbanger

Q: Why did they find Diana's lipstick on the steering wheel?

A: She was blowing the horn.

Q: What was the last thing she kissed?

A: The radiator

Q: How did Diana stay so thin?

A: It was that crash diet

Q: What's the difference between the NFL and Diana?

A: The NFL players come out of the tunnel Sunday.

Q: What happens when Princess is driven through a tunnel at
100 mph?

A: Princess Die

Q: What were Diana & Mother Teresa's last words?

A: "Oh, God!, I'm Coming!"

Did you know that Diana was on the radio the night she died?
Also on the dashboard, the seats, the floor.......

Diana's last night out on the town was a smashing good time!

"Those photographers drive me up the wall!"

Diana's funeral song: "Looking for love in all the wrong

Apparently Diana had Dandruff.
They found her Head and Shoulders on the road.

"Gee, is that a piece of lint on the windshield? Maybe I need a
closer look"

"Darn, I can't auction this dress now!"

She changed her name from Princess Di to Princess Dead!

"Honey, I want to know you inside and out"

How long until we see a drag performer named Diana Paparazzi?

When Diana said she would never talk to the British press again,
I did not know she was speaking the truth!

If you rearrange the letters in "Princess Diana" they spell:



Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner.
-Toa Te Ching

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