Doing Dishes

Tim Byars (
Wed, 21 Feb 1996 08:38:43 -0800

The Dishes

Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great
price, but it's missing a seal, so whenever it rains he has to
smear vaseline over the spot where the seal should be. Anyway, his
girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents. He drives
his new bike to her house, where she is outside waiting for him. "No
matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word." She tells him,
"Our family had a fight a while ago about doing dishes. We haven't done
any since, but the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."

Steve sits down for dinner and it is just how she described it. Dishes are
piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen, and nobody is saying a word. So
Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her on
the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is
a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid, and her mom horrified when
he sits back down, but no one says a word. A few minutes later he grabs
her mom, throws her on the table and does a repeat performance. Now his
girlfriend is furious, her dad is boiling, and her mother is a little
happier. But still there is complete silence at the table.

All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to rain.
Steve remembers his motorcycle. He jumps up and grabs his jar of
vaseline. Upon witnessing this, his girlfriend's father backs away from
the table and screams, "OKAY, ENOUGH ALREADY, I'LL DO THE FUCKING


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