copywrite 1997 Los Angeles Herald Express
In a sudden and shocking turn of events, the Herald Express has learned
that Tim Byars (aka CobraBoy) has purchased a pager. Seen by some as a sign
of the apocalypse, and by others as a warning of final things to come, the
fact remains, according to our sources he has indeed purchased a pager.
The Herald Express has learned that the pager owned by Tim Byars can be
reached in two distinct manners. By calling 310-934-5104 and leaving a
numeric page, or by calling 888-257-4272/tim byars (alphapage/tim byars)
and leaving a message. This message will then be sent to his pager,
according to our sources.
Speaking to the Herald Express a former girlfriend had the following to say
on the subject. "Of course he would get something like 888-alphapage/tim
byars. After all who are his friends? Rock stars, porno girls, and geeks.
None of which have an attention span of more than 30 seconds."
Another anonymous source put it this way, "so what, because he has one
doesn't mean he'll even turn it on. I doubt he'll call you back just
because he has a pager."
Yet another friend of "CobraBoy" responded as follows, "well every dog has
it's day, although this could be a scary sign of things to come." The fear
factor was evident in a number of responses. "What!" said one source. "Oh
god, this is it, it's the end." Yet another responded, "I really can't
comment on this. I have to look this up in the bible."
Others had the following to say on the grounds of strict secrecy. "WAY TO
GO TIMMY! AND CHECK OUT OUR NEW ALBUM INFO AT WWW.MOTLEY.COM," "Oh cool,
I'm glad to hear, and look out for Shane's World # 7 soon to be in your
video stores." "Well I've heard everything, and check out our new high
speed disk array's at NAB in Las Vegas next week." "Look, you can't patent
an idea, I called him on a Sunday morning and well, you'll have to talk to
our lawyers. . . oh pager? I thought you said lawyer, I have to go." "So he
got a pager? Why so Tommy can page him after he fucks up his Mac? I got to
go but check out our new album at www.motley.com"
Repeated calls to the his pager number 310-934-5104, 888-257-4272/tim
byars (alphapage/tim byars) and 714-377-1199 went without response.
Anyway, that's just my opinion, meant to confuse and disorient...
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