a joke made for FoRKers

duck (duck@hellskitchen.com)
Sun, 4 May 1997 12:52:08 -0400 (EDT)


>> A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the
>> Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life.
>> Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the
>> huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the engineer,
>> desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on
>> a secluded island.
>> Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts,
>> there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat
>> under same palm tree.
>> One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small
>> rowboat appeared. "I'm from the other side of the island," she said.
>> "Were you on the cruise ship, too?"
>> "Yes, I was, " he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?"
>> "Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced
>> gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a
>> Eucalyptus tree."
>> "But, what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
>> "There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south
>> side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain
>> temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron.
>> Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said.
>> "Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter."
>> "To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
>> "Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked.
>> The engineer nodded dumbly.
>> She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island,
>> and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven
>> hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding
>> stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree. There stood
>> an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
>> "It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down
>> would you like to have a drink?" "No, thanks," said the man.
>> "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!"
>> "It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still
>> out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas." Trying to hide
>> his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on
>> her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked,
>> "Tell me, have you always had a beard?"
>> "No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I
>> up on this island." "Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor
>> upstairs
>> in the bathroom cabinet."
>> The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom
>> and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp.
>> Next he showered - not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she
>> managed to get warm water into the bathroom. He couldn't help but
>> the masterfully carved banister as he walked back downstairs.
>> "You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into
>> something more comfortable."As she did, the man continued to sip his
>> Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of
>> gardenias,
>> returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm
>> "Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time
>> with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely
>> ...is there anything that you really,really miss? Something that all
>> and
>> woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now!"
>> "Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is
>> something
>> I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was
>> just...well, it was
>> impossible. "Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said.
>> The man, practically panting with excitement, said breathlessly: "You
>> mean
>> you
>> actually figured out some way we can check our E-MAIL"?

****** "Modern man thinks he loses something - time - when he does not
do things quickly. Yet he does not know what to do with the time he gains
-- except kill it."

- Erich Fromm