Earthlink humor

CobraBoy (
Wed, 17 Jul 1996 08:54:16 -0700

As many of you might or might not know, Earthlink has fast stripped Kaiwan
from the top spot as #1 most hated ISP on the net. I am proud to say that I
have belonged to both. :-) The Earthlink story is a amazing one though. You
see EL is owned by Sky Dalton, Scientoligst (SP) and it is rumored as a
front for Scientolgy to cash in on the net. The other rumor is that it was
started to put Kaiwan out of business due to the Scientolgy postings from a
Kaiwan member, and their refusal to remove that member from their service.

Whatever, enjoy...


Q: Do you have an internet service provider?

A: No, I have an account with Earthlink.


What's the difference between a Simpson juror and an Earthlink employee?

The Simpson jurors only made *one* incredibly stupid mistake.


Q:How many Earthlink employees does it take to change a lightbulb?

A:When we upgrade the T3 hub with a modulating power source to access the
main grid from the NASA downlink with a turkey baster mainframed to an
ATARI 2600 routed through the Turkish embassy (where the tech department
gets its hashish) and overflow the busy signals into a 300 baud modem, we
will then have the capability to offer our customers the lightbulb


Q: What's the difference between a proctologist and an Earthlink customer
trying to get honest answers from Earthlink employees?

A: A proctologist only has to deal with one asshole at a time.


Q: What's the difference between O.J. Simpson and Wes Lebaron (Director of
Quality Control at Earthlink) ?

A: It's possible that someday O.J. will actually tell the truth.


Q: What's the difference between Earthlink and the Zzzzbest Carpet Company?

A: About 10 years.


Q: How do you tell which child at the playground belongs to someone who
works at Earthlink?

A: They're the one watching the other kids play.


Q: How many Earthlink employees does it take to change a lightbulb? (Part 2)

A: To change a lightbulb, press 2. To leave a message for the lightbulb,
press 3. To find out what the current status of the lightbulb is, press 4.
To find out about our exciting new pricing plans for customers who don't
know any better, press 5.


Q: What did the Earthlink employee say when he was in line at the U.S.
Post office?

A: Hey - how come you guys work so fast here?


Q: How can you tell which Earthlink employee has just been recently hired?

A: They mistakenly answer the phone and try to help a customer.


Q:How do you tell which Earthlink employee has the greatest seniority?

A: They have the most elaborate cobwebs.


2 guys who work at Earthlink are sitting at a sidewalk cafe when a sexy
woman walks by in a a short skirt.

"Man," says one of them, "I sure would like to screw her."

"Out of what?" the other asks.



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