This is a account of how I got kicked out of a stripper bar, caused a major
commotion, and might have gotten one if not two girls fired all in the name
of some good fun, CobraBoy style.
As any of you know that have hung out in Vegas with me my prefered stripper
bar is called Club Paradise. It is a high gloss, loud music, laser beam
light show, girls tanned with big plastic boobs sort of place. I went to
Vegas this week to attend the "Magic" show, Magic stands for Mens Apparel
Garment Industry Convention, basically everything in the way of mens
clothes form golf shirts, to camping to DKNY Mens.
So here it is Wed. night. Myself with a group of friends go to Club
Paradise. One guy in the group Duff from Canada finds it to be highly
offensive and insists we go to Cheetah's. So off we go. Now Cheetah's is a
dark, not loud rock music, sort of place. Much more blue collar and white
trash. However I'm just along for the fun of it so...
Now a trick that was taught to me by strippers is the "penny" toss. It
consists of wrapping a dollar bill around the penny and throwing it at the
stripper. Of course you have a couple of targets to aim for. This is done
because if your not sitting on the runway how do you get your money up
their? Now at Club Paradise this is a fun game and the girls are into it.
So here we are at Cheetah's and this girl is doing a goal post pose. I'm
now sufficiently lubed up on Jack and Coke and Jack shooters to have my aim
down pretty good.
He shoots he scores! I bounce the bill right off her pussy. She sort fo
flinches not knowing what just happened, rolls over and does another goal
post pose. He shoots and he scores! This one hits her directly in the
pussy, bounces up and lands in the middle of her stomach. She crawls over
the the side of the stage and glares at me. So I lean forward and glare
back with my best, "listen white trash, your striping in this dive club and
if some guy is bouncing dollar bills off your pussy I don't think your in
any position to get pissed off" look. Well this starts to set my mood. I
now know I can have some serious fun at this dump.
Next comes a shooter girl. Now believe it or not I'm not much into this
sort of activity since I usually have to drive the Cobra and a 502 is not
in my play book. Well not tonight. The shooter girl for those of you that
don't know, is the babe in a leather bikini with sequin's and a holster. On
one side is a bottle filled with Vodka lime and on the other is Vodka
Cherry or something. You put your head back and she fills your mouth with
this mixture. So my friends buy me one. She fills my mouth and then she
grabs my head and puts it between her tits. Now I guess the idea is that
she sort of shakes your head around between her tits. (Which by the way
were real and of "Shane" quality) Well hell's bells how am I supposed to
know that? So I proceed to lick from between her breasts up her neck to the
bottom of her ear. She says, "your not supposed to do that." Notice she
didn't say "don't ever." Just s simple not supposed to. So a nod being as
good as a wink to a blind horse, this tells me in my girl talk to male
brain translation dictionary that she'll be back, and if no one sees to do
So of course shooter girls does come back, and I do do it again. Then she
brings over this other girl. Some French chick, (I forget her name) who she
introduces and sits on my lap. She starts asking me to go in the back with
her and get a lap dance. I tell her that I don't like lap dances and I'm
not interested. She keeps it up and I'm still saying no. I dont' need the
frustration of a almost naked girls sliding all over me. So she is sitting
on my lap and she starts to rub my chest. I take her hand and say, "of your
going to do that do this," and put her hand on my left nipple which is
pierced. She lights up like a 100W soft white and says, "is that what I
think it is, is that pierced?" I say "yep." She is now getting her motor
running and sort of rubbing it, I grab her hand, put it under my shirt and
place it right on the ring. She gingerly touches it and says, "lets go in
the back because I can't be touching you like this out here."
Hah! victory is within reach, how much of one I'm not sure of but at least
I'm not going to get a pedestrian lap dance. I say, "if your going to give
me a lap dance you better talk dirty also, you'd better be one nasty slut
if you expect me to pay for this experience." She assures me that she will
and off we go.
The "back" that she takes me to is this room with this rolly polly bouncer
type at the door. In side it is very dark with couches around the walls.
Girls are "lap dancing" on guys sitting on the couches. There is no place
to sit so we sit on this divider in the middle of the room. We wait about
five minutes and I'm about ready to leave. She is asking these guys sitting
there with no girls what they are doing and would they please leave. One
guy says to her, why don't you give us a dance, and she says, "why would I
give you a dance with him sitting right here." Nice line babe....
So finally she gets this one guy to get up. Now this is some obvious weasel
in a suit. As many of you know I have a aversion to suits, both wearing
them and to people that wear them. So he says, trying to actually match me
somehow, "ok, I gave up my seat what do I get to see." I say, "are you
paying for it? Because if you are what do you want to watch." Now he is
stammering for words, "no I'm not going to pay for your lap dance but I
gave up my seat and I should be able to watch something." I say, "what to
waatch me fuck her? Ok no problem and grab the bottom of my shirt and start
to take it off." She says, "no don't do that," but notices my tatto on my
stomach. I say, "hey, let him watch, except he probably will want to suck
my cock after I'm done or eat my cum out of you. " Well suit weasel just
got his bluff called big time CobraBoy style and turns at that and leaves.
He leaves so fast that his buddy jumps up to see where his friend is going.
Ok, scratch two weasels.
So now I'm sitting on the couch and the French chick is rubbing all over
me, and she is pulling up my shirt to look at my tattoo on my stomach. So I
pull my shirt up farther to show her the nipple ring, and she says, "only
one, how come you don't have the other one pierced." I say, "I'm saving
that one for the the girl that I marry." Now this is probably one of the
best lines in the world, and it's actually true (thanks Tommy for the idea)
Ok, so she starts her lap dance and I'm talking dirty to her telling her
all the things that I'd do to her. Things are going well. The lap dance
finishes and she sits down on my left side, I say, "pull up my shirt and
lick my nipple." She says, "your just telling me what to do, you can't do
that I'm dom." I reply with "not with me you aren't, now do it." And I pull
up my shirt. Her mouth like a heatseeking missle goes to the nipple ring.
Now were having some real fun.
OK, when we went back their it was about 12:30. It is now about 1:45 and
she says "I'll be right back," I say, "where you going?" She says, "to the
bathroom." I think this sounds like great idea so I say, "me too meet you
back here." Ok when we get settled again I've been look up at the ceiling
and I ask her if they have camera's behind the mirrors on the ceiling. She
says that no they don't that they only have two cameras which are in the
corners and that is why we are sitting where we are because they don't
cover this corner. I'm pretty insistant that the probably do have camera's
behind the mirrors and she is equally insistent that they don't. Whatever.
Now the drink girl keeps coming around and I'm sick of the watered down
Jack and Cokes so I say, bring the shooter girl back. Shooter girl comes
back and Frenchie grabs my shirt and says look at this showing her the
stomach tattoo and nipple ring. Shooter girl then fills my mouth with vodka
lime and gives the French chick a vodka cherry.
So me and the French chick are talking and stuff and she is saying that she
really has to appear busy what about another lap dance. I tell her that I
didn't bring all that much money and I have to get a cab back, unless she
wants to take me. She says she will. So I hand over all my money to her
about $120.00. (Understand I haven't paid for one lap dance so far and I'm
$80 into those, and we've been back here for going on two hours.) Shooter
girl comes back and says do I want another, I tell her, I gave her all my
money, ask her. Frenchie says, yeah we both do so. Shooter girl climbs on
my lap (which is illegal alcohol servers in direct contact with a customer)
and fills my mouth. Of course I get to lick her and now since the room is
empty except for the three of us she is just sort of staying on top of me
while Frenchie is playing with my nipple ring.
At this point I say, hey, were leaving when she gets off why don't you come
along and we'll have a threesome. Shooter girl says that she has never done
that but with a little dirty talk and me telling Frenchie to pose a little
for shooter girl, she agrees that it sounds like fun.
So things are shaping up nicely. Cut to it is now three o'clock. Frenchie
is curled up on my left with her mouth pretty much attached to my nipple
ring. My shirt is pulled up all the way under my neck. Shooter girl is
sitting on my lap grinding herself into me. She is taking turns filling my
mouth with vodka line, Frenchie's with vodka cherry and hers with Vodka
lime. She is pinching my right nipple and I am licking her chest, neck,
ears, and side of her face. This is some great decadence and everyone is
having a wonderful time. Frenchie is just about to go see if shooter girl
and her can get off early so we can all go to her place when this little
blonde girl comes running it. She tells Frenchie something, Frenchie jumps
up and throws on her dress, she says to me, "you were right they do have
camera's sit up and pull your shirt down and act like nothing is
happening." Shooter girl just disappears. The big rolly polly bouncer guy
comes back looks at me and says, "you, leave" and grabs Frenchie by the arm
and says, "we need to talk." Off they go.
I find shooter girl in the club and we go off to a dark corner to snuggle
and see what is going on. About 10 minutes later Frenchie returns to the
club and goes and sits near some guys. Shooter girl and I play grab ass for
a while longer and I go over to Frenchie and ask what up. She says, "I
can't be seen with you, please leave." I remind her that she has all my
money and I really can't. She is insistent that I have to go, and I say,
hey at least give me 5 dollars back to catch a cab. She peels off a fiver
and hands it to me and I say, thanks it was fun. Then I go back to shooter
girl and we go back into the corner. Shooter girl says that I really have
to get out of their it's a major scene, all the girls are upset because
they now know they have camera's in the ceiling and management is pissed
off. Not really wanting to stay in a Vegas strip club with management
pissed off at me I decide that leaving is a good idea. Shooter girl gives
me one more for the road and I leave, jump in a cab sitting out front and
head back to the hotel. Time? 4:00 AM.
I got two turntables and a microphone...
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