Class of 2004 Mindset List

Thu, 23 Aug 2001 09:35:19 -0500 (CDT)

Well, I started to send this to my daughter, since she's a Fish this year,
but a few things would have probably pissed her off, and wow, the freshman
year sure is a volatile time for a kid, or at least the beginning of it
is.  Here are some of the ones that would have offended her:

> 1. Most students entering college this fall in the class of 2004, were born
> in 1982.

She would have liked this one.  She was born in '84.

> 3. Kurt Cobains death was the day the music died.

She went through her Kurt Cobain craze, but the day Jim Morrison died was
the day music died, IHO.

> 5. The Kennedy tragedy was a plane crash, not an assassination.

She's very fascinated with the Kennedy assassination.

> 6. Huckleberry Finn has always been a banned book.

Not here in Mississippi, even.  She loves this book.

> 7. A 45 is a gun, not a record with a large hole in the center.

She has some 45s, and something to play them on.

> 8. They have no clue what the Beach Boys were talking about when they sang
> about a 409, and the Little Deuce Coupe.

The Beach Boys hung out with The Dead and Manson, so she's a bit more
clueful about them and what their songs are/meant.

> 9. They have probably never lost anything in shag carpeting.

She has.  (:

> 10. MASH and The Muppet Show have always been in re-runs.

Maybe, but Fraggle Rock was the SHIT.

> 11. Punk Rock is an activist movement, not a musical form.

Oh, I don't want to even imagine what she'd say to this one.

> 15. Wars begin and end quickly; peace-keeping missions go on forever.

She actually paid attention in history class.

> 17. The President has always addressed the nation on the radio on Saturday.


> 18. We have always been able to receive television signals by direct
> broadcast satellite.

She's never experienced this, and doesn't know a lot about it.

> 19. Cities have always been trying to ban the possession and sale of
> handguns.

Not here in Mississippi.  (:

> 22. They have never referred to Russia and China as the Reds.

She's been called a Red herself, and is quite aware of the confusing way
that it has been used.

> 23. Toyotas and Hondas have always been made in the United States.

She wants a Honda, instead of the Escort she's getting, because "foreign
cars last longer."

> 24. There has always been a national holiday honoring Martin Luther King,
> Jr.

Yes, but it's not always willingly honored... here in Mississippi.  (:

> 25. Three Mile Island is ancient history, and nuclear accidents happen in
> other countries.

No way, dude.

> 26. Around-the-clock coverage of congress, public affairs, weather reports,
> and rock videos have always been available on cable.

We didn't have a TV the first 15 years of her life.

> 27. Senator Phil Gramm has always been a Republican.

Who is that?

> 31. Bear Bryant has never coached at Alabama.

She's heard more than she ever wanted to about Bear Bryant.

> 32. They have always been able to afford Calvin Klein.


> 33. Coors Beer has always been sold east of the Mississippi, eliminating the
> need for Burt Reynolds to outrun the authorities in the Smokey and the
> Bandit films.

Yes, but her mommy used to make that trip before she was born.  She's sick
of the story now.

> 36. Elton John has only been heard on easy listening stations.

Oldies stations.  "Elton John is for old people, or else people trying to
go to sleep."  LOL

> 37. Woodstock is a bird or a reunion, not a cultural touchstone.

She HATES it that she was born too late for the first one.

> 38. They have never heard a phone ring.

God.  The phone rings nonstop for her.

> 39. They never dressed up for a plane flight.

HuH?  She always has her best verylargepants and spaghetti strap tee on
when she flies!

> 41. Lawn darts have always been illegal.

What's a lawn dart?

> 42. Coming out parties celebrate more than debutantes.

No, cotillions still suck, and gay folks here don't have parties, they
just tell all their friends, who tell everyone else.

> 43. They only know Madonna singing American Pie.

I won't even start.  She has owned all of Madonna's stuff at one point.

> 47. They have never used a bottle of White Out.

Sure she has.  Her handwriting is as bad as mine is.

> 48. If they vaguely remember the night the Berlin Wall fell, they are
> probably not sure why it was up in the first place.

Again, she did pay attention in history class.

> 50. They feel more danger from having sex and being in school, than from
> possible nuclear war.

She's more afraid of the government than any other monster out there, so
possible nuclear war is one of the things she has nightmares about.

One thing they left out is bottled water.  One of Xi's favorite stories
that I tell is the one where I'm a teenager and we're all on acid sittin
around a rock quarry looking at the water, and I had a sudden idea that
one of these days, we'll need to buy water, in stores, you know, like
cokes, because tap water won't quite be trustable to drink.  My friends at
the time thought I was either crazy or had taken too much LSD.  (:  But I
think the thing that would offend her the most is the generalizations.
She's not amused by generalizations that make her generation seem even the
least bit uninformed.

"My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not
          signed."  (Christopher Morley)