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Helen Cox
Mon, 27 Aug 2001 18:53:01


                                          Humoresque is an Ezine with Humor and Heart.

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Volume 1 Number 27
Week of August 27,2001
Joan Cox- Publisher

>From the Publisher's Desk
Feature Article: Unclear Writing- Hilarious excerpts from letters sent go
a welfare office.
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>From the Publisher's Desk:
Welcome to All! This is the 27th Issue of Humoresque
I appreciate every one of our super subscribers and hope you enjoy
the humor and heartwarming stories and articles in Humoresque.

I've taught writing for a number of years. One of my classes was on
humor most of the students were in their late seventies and eighties,
many had infirmities that could have kept them home. I faced a class
that had smiles on their faces and a certain twinkle in their eyes.
They came in more than ready to be taught, but I was the one who
would go home with a great lesson on humor.
I stood up before this smiling group ready to present the principles
that I had written down so carefully.When they began to quip one
liners lke a group of comedians, then they wanted to read some
of their work. I began to laugh so hard, I couldn't get back to my
lesson. It was as if I was watching a tennis match of humor and
the ball was definately in their court.
You will be reading some of their humor in future issues.

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best articles and stories.

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Feature Article:
Unclear Writing by Lucille Bunce
Hilarious excerpts sent to a welfare office.
Unclear Writing

"These examples of unclear writing came from actual letters received
by the Welfare Department in Salt Lake City, Utah while I was working
there."        Lucille Bunce

I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children. I have seven
but one died which was baptised on a half sheet of paper.

I am writing the Welfare Department to say my baby was born two
years old. When do I get my money?

Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited 
regularly by the clergy.

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children. Can you tell me why?

I am glad to report that my husband  who is missing is dead.

This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?

Please find for certain if my husband is dead. The man I am now
living with can't eat or do anything until he knows.

I am very annoyed to find that you have branded my son illiterate.
This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.

In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a boy weighing
ten pounds. I hope this is satisfactory.

I am forwarding my certificate of marriage and my three
children, one of which was a mistake as you can see.

My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago and I
haven't had any relief since.

You changed my little boy to a girl.Will this make a difference?

I have no children as yet, as my husband is a truck driver and
works both day and night.

In accordance to your instructions. I have given birth to twins
in the enclosed envelope.

I want my money as quick as I can get it. I have been in bed
with the doctor for two weeks and couldn't do me any good.
If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.

Lucille Bunce Bio:
Lucille Bunce is seventy eight and handicapped. She is an
inspiration for everyone. She goes to as many writing
classes as possible. Her work is very heartwarming
and entertaining. She owned a catering company
for many years and is currently writing a cook book
for handicapped people. She's working on her
family's geneology now.

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