<fart>

[R. A. Hettinga]

At 4:55 PM +0000 on 11/16/01, Phil Harris wrote:


> eeeewwwwwwwww!!!!!

Naw, that's nothing. *This* is eeeewwww....

Careful. Don't drink anything while reading this, or you'll hurt your nose
or something...

Cheers,
RAH

--- begin forwarded text


Status:  U
To: interest@another.pothole.com
Subject: FWD: Zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins
	 "Worst Job in Singapore"
Date: Wed, 14 Nov 2001 20:51:54 -0500
From: "Donald E. Eastlake 3rd" <dee3@torque.pothole.com>
Sender: owner-interest@another.pothole.com


Mime-Version:  1.0
Message-Id:  <p05101010b817e93e5027@[63.73.97.181]>
Date:  Wed, 14 Nov 2001 01:50:21 -0800
To:  "The Eristocracy" <Eristocracy@merrymeet.com>
From:  Jon Callas <jon@callas.org>
Subject:  Worst job in Singapore

Date: Tue, 13 Nov 2001 23:45:26 -0800
From: Tamzen Cannoy <tamzen@worldbenders.com>

<http://www.studentmagazine.com/thisweek/thisweek_article.asp?articleID=213>

Zoo sperm bank worker Mohd. Binatang bin Goncang wins "Worst Job in Singapore"

Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo,has
set up a bank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve
species.

The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr. Binatang's,
starting his rounds at 4 a.m. "We start so early in the morning
because a lot of the animals have 'morning glory' when they wake up,
and it's easier to collect the sperm.

Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and
tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he'd just graduated from
Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature
and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect
place to work.

"I never thought I'd be giving an orang-utan a hand job every
morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects
to be kissed first. "As we approached the orang-utan enclosure, we saw
the Zoo's most famous resident lying casually on his back, hands
behind his head, and sporting a huge erection.

Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the
enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2
minutes' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr.Binatang
emerged again.

Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the
grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh
set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty,kitty..."

Moments later, he emerged with several tupperware full of viscous
fluid.

"Isn't it dangerous?" we asked.

Mr. Binatang was silent for a while.

"They know I'm not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed,
faraway look in his eyes.

Worked his way round the zoo, finished his rounds at 3 pm in the
afternoon. Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros,
giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different,"
he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear
spunk.

"The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is
the most tricky because of the size of its thing... sometimes I have
to use both my arms to tug on it."

"As you can expect it's really affecting my sex life. I can't help
it. Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep
floating through my mind."

How long will he stay difficult to know, but deputy assistant director
Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to continue.

"It's because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over
every morning to pull them off," said "Many of them now can't be
bothered to engage in real sex."

by Kway Png

--- end forwarded text



-----------------
R. A. Hettinga <mailto: rah@ibuc.com>
The Internet Bearer Underwriting Corporation <http://www.ibuc.com/>
44 Farquhar Street, Boston, MA 02131 USA
"... however it may deserve respect for its usefulness and antiquity,
[predicting the end of the world] has not been found agreeable to
experience." -- Edward Gibbon, 'Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'