The absurdities of life.

Elias Sinderson
Mon, 07 Oct 2002 12:19:39 -0700

I call PacBell/SBC every two or three months about a recurring problem 
we have at my house:

We get a phone bill every month for someone who no longer lives at our 
house for a phone line which has been disconnected for over three years 
and the account balance is (drum roll please) $0.00! Sometimes the 
people I talk to cannot locate the account in their system and tell me 
that the phone number doesn't exist. Some people are able to locate the 
account but say that it has been disconnected and there is no way we 
could get a bill sent to us for that account. Some people can locate the 
account and verify that the line has been disconnected for three years 
and that the amount owed is $0.00 and then they say somthing along the 
lines of "Huh?" or "I'm not sure what's going on... Hold please." And 
eventually I have similar conversations with their managers and the 
account representatives and billing people and their managers and their 
managers' managers ad naseum.

The outcome of every phone call is that they'll "look into it" and fix 
the problem and I might receive one or two more bills depending on when 
it's resolved. So I wait a month or two and send the bills back marked 
"Not at this address, please fsck off." and then eventually call them 
back and go through the whole process again. Lately I just explain to 
the phone jockeys that I know it's not their fault and I'm not mad at 
them and it's just not their day because I'm about to give them hell. 
Then I give them the opportunity to have me yell at their boss which 
they seem all too happy to do.

At least it gives me a positive way to vent my aggressions and it's a 
lot cheaper than seeing a therapist.

Elias wrote:

>So I get a check from Pac Bell today (SBC as they're called now).
>Turns out, they went to the trouble of printing out, signing, sealing
>and stamping a check just to refund me for a whole $0.33.