Fwd: Ferret Legging.

Gregory Alan Bolcer gbolcer at endeavors.com
Mon Sep 8 15:49:46 PDT 2003



Dr. Robert J. Harley wrote:
> 
> Um, because "Mirelly-Lyra Zeelashisthar" is way too wacky a
> nom-de-plume for an alternate personality???
> 
> -- Shah Robisimus the Seventh (and a half).
> 



SLEEPERS: The Abridged Script
by Larry NIVEN as Adpated

                        By Woody Allen


FADE IN:

EXT.  DARK, WORLD OUT OF TIME

JAYBEE CORBELL saunters in, shirt half
open with a rack of CHEST HAIR and a GOLD
NECKLACE HUMMING Levi's Jean's commercials.  THE
RADIO is playing an old POINTER SISTER'S song and
his head is pounding from what he thinks is too
much b00ze and drugs, but is really BRAIN CANCER.


INT.  SCENE FROM ROSIE GRIER's THING WITH TWO HEADS crossed
with STEVE MARTIN'S MAN WITH TWO BRAINS with a little
GENE WILDER YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN mixed in laboratory.

Jaybee wakes up from his nightmare.  Mirelly-Lyra
Zeelashishtar, played by a human being, is laying next to him.

                         KURT VONNEGUT
             Whoa. Presque Vu!

                        JAYBEE CORBELL
             Whoa.

                        MIRELLY-LYRA
             What's the matter? Did you wet the
             bed again?

                         WOODY ALLEN
             Whoa. Deja Vu!

                        TOM CRUISE & PENELOPE CRUZ
             Whoa.  Jamais Vu!

                       JAYBEE CORBELL
             Whoa.  I had a dream that  - I had brain
             cancer and was cryogenically frozen to await
             for a cure for BRAIN CANCER.

                       TED WILLIAMS
             Whoa.  They can do that without the guard dogs
             licking the ooze coming out of the cannisters?

                      MIRELLY-LYRA
             You've gone online and read the entire archive
             of FoRK on Xent like fifty times in the past two days.

                      JAYBEE CORBELL
             Did you see the MATRIX RELOADED?  I feel
             like AGENT SMITH being reborn into another
             one by having my RNA serum injected into
             another body which has my distilled personality
             and memories.   I wonder if this is why my
             body feels so much different than I remember it.

                    MIRELLY-LYRA
             You've gone online and read the entire archive
             of Transhumanism like fifty times in the past two days.


INT.  DARK, NOIR-ESQUE PUB; Our hero feels like his RNA
Serum has been injected into the body of a criminal for
CRIMES AGAINST THE STATE that are so awful that his memory
has been DEMOLISHED.

                      SYLVESTER STALLONE
             Not funny.

                      JAYBEE CORBELL (To Mirelly-Lyra)
             What say you and I get off this planet and go
             find some realy place to hangout?  How do you
             work this dang shipboard computer?  Let's go
             fly the ship and come back to SOMEPLACE THAT LOOKS
             LIKE EARTH BUT IS ORBITING JUPITER and land in
             the antarctic.

                     BRAD PITT

             Whoa.  Mental divergence.  My father is god.

                     CHARLETON HESTON

              Stupid Planet of the APES ripoff.  They really
              ARE on earth!

                     ROD SERLING

              Stupid Twilight Zone ripoff! They really are on
              earth, EXCEPT IN THE DESERT!


INT.  PLANET EARTH, ANTARCTICA, A TROPICAL TRANSMOGRIFIED CONTINENT

                   MIRELLY-LYRA

              That Stupid 70's cryogenic technology must have
              transmogrifried his brain.  I think I'LL STALK
              HIM along with my society of immortal girls and boys
              who have BEEN TAKING IMMORTALITY DRUGS since birth.


Some more plot rolls around on freaky science and the physical
limitations of freaky science intermixed with very subtle and faint
suggestions that the whole book might BE A DREAM or that something
else freaky is going on.  MIRELLY-LYRA finds that CORBELL is really
a Baisleygram for her former husband and MIRELLY-LYRA is really
a Baisleygram for his long-dead lover.

THEY ALL MOVE TO RINGWORLD.

THE CREDITS roll, as DISC ONE of the soundtrack is played
in its entirety.

END




More information about the FoRK mailing list