The Song of Tom Bomwhorillo

jbone at jbone at
Wed Oct 22 12:38:58 PDT 2003

[Tom, muchas gracias!  While that wasn't much of a swing, it was far 
enough down that dizzy spiral of futility and uselessness to warrant 
this, which I've just been itchin' to let loose.  The key to repetition 
is learning... Enjoy! -jb]

[Adapted from "Tom Bombadil's Song" by J.R.R. Tolkein.  With, of 
course, profound apologies to Tolkein.]

Hey dol! merry dol! suck a bong dillo!
Hockety pockety jib-jabberwillow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bomwhorillo!

Hey! Come merry dol! derry dol! My darling!
Nonsensically FoRK when I come a calling.
Down under the signal-to-noise-illy hill,
Hither and yon and wherever I will,
Waiting on clue like the morning sunlight,
Pounding on bitlessly on through the night,
I bitch!  I whine!  I moan and complain!
If the attention's not mine, then what do I gain?
Old Tom spinning nonsense grammatically?  No!
I've disabled my spellcheck, hold on, here we go!
Hockety pockety jib-jabberwockety,
Snickerty-snack and snog-snackety-snockety.
Sifting my bits you'll find them bit-free,
I'm Tom, Good Old Tom, hooray for me!

Hop along, my little friends, up the Withywindle!
Tom's going ahead with wet candles to kindle.
Down west sinks the Sun: soon you'll be groping.
Understanding's elusive, but still we're all hoping,
For a licket of sense, a pack-smacket of clue,
Yet nothing obtains, and what do we do?
Rang dang diggy dang diggy dang-a-dang-dillo!
Fee Fi Fo Fum Foo Bar Baz Bam Whorillo!
Fear no rigid logic! Heed no common sense!
For nothing can unseat Old Tom from his fence.
Twisty and turning a language to screw,
Hey now! merry dol! He'll be waiting for you!

Hey! Come derry dol! Hop along, my hearties!
Morons and idjuts! We're all fond of parties.
Now let the fun begin! Let us sing together!


[at which point the poem ran inexplicably out of steam.]



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